santa's schools me...

Dear Fat Ass Bridesmaid,

Just because you have to squeeze your fat ass in to a bridesmaid/maid of honor dress does not mean you get to blame me for eating cookies one damn night of the year...especially since i work my ass off making children's hearts warm and their faces shine with cheer....do you know how cold it is up here? i need the fat to keep me warm, and it doesn't hurt that mrs. claus likes a little meat on her man...what are you going to do next, blame the easter bunny for leavin' you candy in a basket...seriously, he is a poor defenseless animal...the only person you should blame is the person shoving the cake in her mouth, ohh wait that isn't me, that would be you...

...so quit f*@% complaining, run a mile, eat some salad or don't and just be happy & fat like me...either way, i never want to receive a letter from a bitter fat ass asking for money for a liposuction (cause honestly you aren't getting it anyways, i don't care how fat you are, santa is on a budget, & the children's dolls, trucks, guitars, skates, etc, are way more important than your waistline...& if you have a problem with that i will send you letters and some pictures, your tone will change fast) & especially asking me to stop eating, cause that is NEVER going to happen...

p.s...did i mention you have now moved from the fat, happy kids list to the fat, bitter, nasty list...which means not only do you get squat for christmas, but i am leavin' you the damn carrots and giving the reindeer the good shit...

Merry Freakin' Christmas!

Santa

did you miss my fat ass...

...well did you?...b/c it is hard to miss ;)

**disclaimer 732...Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Holy Fatness!!!

(it is that time of the year, "Santa is coming," so in honor of him; a letter to santa...)

Dear Santa,

I would like to thank you for being a fine specimen of human svelteness and an example to all of how to eat during this holiday season.

...we can chalk up beating fat, during this time of year, to you, the white guy who squeezes his fat ass down our chimneys and has a whole plate of cookies to himself, and gives the carrots to the reindeers who actually do all of the work, pullin the sleigh the whole damn night....hmmm santa, we follow your example and give the not so fun, healthy tasting food to the animals & we eat not just one cookie, but the whole damn plate...nice really nice...so you leave us great clothes, but guess what, ohh smart Fr. Christmas, we can't fit in them because we are FAT....which i realize it is a lot better if you are going to be fat, might as well have company, b/c i am the same way...however i can't afford to put the whole year back on my hips, so maybe this christmas, we watch the cookie intake, we can do it together, i know we can...

all i want for christmas, santa is a waistline, what can you do for me?...& if you could make it happen before i have to order wedding dresses that would be great...

sincerely,

the fat bridesmaid/maid of honor...

P.S...i actually love you Santa, but my therapist says i have a lot of pent up anger, & i told him it was a lot of pent up fat, so he said i should express it in words instead of eating my feelings, i wasn't ready to do that, so i apologize for taking it out on you, please do not hold it against me, especially when you are leaving me millions for my liposuction...with all my love....Merry Christmas!

STAY TUNED FOR SANTA'S RESPONSE....

i can't believe myself...holy fatness

*disclaimer 605...some times you are just FAT....

what else am i going to say today i feel FAT

...i have not exercised...

....i have not watched my points....

....i am just plain ole' fat...

what you think about deez post...

...& that is what i am saying today....

until "more words, less food" tomorrow...

just bring on the vacuum & suck out the fat...

disclaimer 429...it is ok to gain a couple here or there, but ideally it would be better if you were at your target weight & then gained a few here & there, not when you are in the midst of dieting & those 2 damn pounds sneak back up & attach themselves to your ass...

Happy freakin' Halloween, trick or treat my ass to another piece of candy or a brownie, seriously i was doing so well or so i thought..today was weigh day & i gained, +1.5, not crazy upset but seriously that is no good, and you know it was all b/c of the Halloween, not so, remember the Potluck, oy! & the fab dinners, they might have added to my thighs...so now i have to work extra hard to get it off the ole' behind & then throw in another 1/2 pound for the motivation...

do you ever wonder....the best months for eating are right smack dab in the middle of the winter...where you are a thousand less likely to work out b/c it is cold (all u people who live in warm weather & exercise all year, or those who brave the elements & exercise, or if you are my sister, SHUT UP, don't want to hear it)...this resulting in the fact that you have to put a LOT LOT more effort to actually exercise...ohh the joys of being a fat kid:(

p.s...the sister i just told to shut it, let us all wish her a happy birthday, thank God i have a smaller in one area compared to her, that would be her age, her skinny ass is 30, she can't have it all...

until..."i am still 28 & exercising, well half is true, can you guess" tomorrow

dinner is killing me...

...well at least it is kickin' my ass...

**disclaimer 758...some times you got nothin' to say and right now i got nothin' to say so i shall shut my mouth & then hopefully the food will stop going in...but i shall say a little in the blog area first before i shut it..(you couldn't expect me to say nothin')

so where i moved too...well we all know i have a new job which comes with new food issues, the chocolate milling about along with the occasional evil POTLUCK...well the other icing on the cake is the location...i moved to Grand Rapids & I am currently living in my cousin's basement. so basically let us just say as far as comes to eating, it is like eating at home...my cousin cooks like if i were at home & my mom was putting food in front of me...& now she has been gone for 2 weeks and her mom did the same cooking for me & sent me home with leftovers...and word to the wise when an Arab woman cooks for you, there is no such words as "i'm full," "no thanks", all you can do is keep eating (not that I am all opposed to eating good food, so i can't totally blame them)...so i have been eating but this week, i have done not so bad, i will watch what i eat during the day & then feast at night...so hopefully not too bad...

...here is too moving and o.m.g the dinners...

until "what is for dinner" tomorrow...

what a hump day...

**disclaimer 323...the hump is the hardest part to get over...so if you happen to slide down & have to start climbing back up again...just envision a big fat slice of cheesecake on the other side it can definitely provide motivation...

we are going to postpone the "where i moved to effecting my diet," until tomorrow; why b/c let us talk & visit the subject of POTLUCK (it is actually a bad word when it comes to dieting)...that is what we had at work today, a POTLUCK...so not only am i combatting chocolate but now a wide variety of food...& the POTLUCK was amazing, wings, mexican dip, cookies, cupcakes, candy, pop, salad (wait that is healthy), and the list goes on...i did ok, not as great as i could have but it was my first POTLUCK, and it was baptism by fire...

did i mention also i went to someone's house for dinner, which means i ate more...so i did not make it over the hump today, i just sat at the bottom & ate:)

...until "making it over the hump a day later" tomorrow...

& it is second day back in the circus & i am almost forgot...

...so here i am getting ready to climb into bed & then i was like ohh sh*t; i forgot to blog & so i got out of bed & now i am typing...can we say D-E-D-I-C-A-T-I-O-N!

*disclaimer 683...be patient, usually when you get back on the horse for the first time; you are bound to fall off now & again...

...so here i am day 2...now my new job...well i have recently moved to michigan, (no worries i will forever be a buckeye fan & always bleed scarlet & gray)...anyways my new job is working with chocolate...like hi we were best friends; not i see you from a far an give a friendly wave...i am selling chocolates; which means i am tasting, wafting in the glorious smell & basking in all the wonders of chocolate...now one part of my job is knowing my product so i have tried some samples (well a lot), & i wish i could say differently but i have thoroughly enjoyed every single piece...this also leads me to have some major will power issues, that i need to face head on...especially when i am at the actual place where the chocolate is being made...i realize this is not part of my diet regiment, but a girl has got to get paid (& did i mention; it is an easy sell; who doesn't love chocolate)...

...so here i am day 2 & making it through...well that is still up for debate...

...until "saying no to chocolate (some times yes)" tomorrow....

look who is back...& skinnier than ever....A BIG FAT NOT, literally...

...here i am trying to get back into the swing of things b/c ladies & gents...it is almost time to face those bridesmaid dresses head on & say, "go ahead & try to make me look like a fat ass."

disclaimer 102...remember when i said never give up, i was totally not kidding, look at me several months later & still not admitting defeat...

...today was naturally weigh day & you will be glad to hear i have lost -1.5 lbs. (now mind you, if you look you will notice that this particular loss has been over the last few months, i know i am the diet queen, and we shall now hear the roars of laughter)...this now puts me at a total loss of -17 lbs. (if you think about that it is almost 3 --6 lb. babies; scary right, well it is that time of year to catch a fright...however i was ecstatic to realize i was maintaining and then actually lost a pound after the whole several months of mowing down on food & still not exercising... (remember that promise; i still have some time, not a lot but enough)

...tmrw. i will tell the tale of my new job which proposes a small problem (or huge) for true fat kids...stay tuned for this one b/c if you think working in a restaurant is bad wait until you hear this one...& then on wednesday we will discuss the geographical (hold the phone; i know i just used a big word; i think i saw it in the newspaper & decided to throw it out there) move i made & how it is now affecting the diet-o...& then on thursday we can discuss my plan of action for the two new adventures in my life & how i am going to exercise (for the record, i went on a walk last week, 1 out of 7; we all have to start some where)...& then friday i will be trying to psyche myself up for not wanting to eat Halloween candy...i know i am busy girl with lots of issues this week; but hopefully we can work them out & be back on track...

i know you have missed me; i have received a million emails (or maybe 1) saying you need me in your life...so never fear the fat girl is here & ready to b.s. you once again...

until "the b.s. continues" tomorrow...

here is the 4-1-1....

**disclaimer 38340...DON"T EVER GIVE UP...especially when it comes to shrinking your ass, if it can't depend on you than who can it...

...so i suck at life...which we all know from the lack of blogging and i have mentioned it a million times over...

...so i am on a hiatus...not a good thing when it comes to a diet...but i am coming back, b/c both brides have reminded me that i have less than 6 months to order a dress and maintain a size for an additional 6 months...so eeeek, i do not want to be up shit crick, come january....so i will be back...please be patient...me & my fat ass will be back...

...hopefully within the next couple of weeks...

thanks for being rockstars:)

mmmm.....its wednesday....why not eat a burger....

food for thought: wednesday...

**disclaimer 941...fruit = eat it...healthy but also can satisfy your sweet tooth (& lets face it you can eat a hell of lot more fruit than chocolate)

...now first, i am not saying you should indulge yourself in only fruit but it so good...especially the summer when it is all in season & fresh, the fruits in the summer are some of my favs...so here they are and their point value, just in case you were wondering...and i realized after stocking my fridge with fruit that i can eat way more of it and save my points for other things like a cheeseburger with a fried egg on it, french fries, a wedge salad & a taco (i am just saying, hypothetically you could use your leftover points for that instead)...

~peach (1 6 oz.) = 1 pt.

~nectarine (1 4 oz.) = 1 pt.

~plums (2 thats right i said 2} 4 oz.) = 1 pt.

~strawberries (1 1/2c. {not just 1 but 1 1/2 c.}) = 1 pt.

~blueberries (1 c. & they are good for your brain or immune system; hey i am not a doctor, just a fat kid trying to live a skinny kid's dream) = 1 pt.

~blackberries (1 c.) = 1 pt.

~cherries (1 c.) = 1 pt.

~kiwi (1 4 oz.; but i only like them when they are really good, and ripe but not too ripe) = 1 pt.

~apples 1 lg {8 oz.) = 2 pt. /1 sm. {4 oz.} = 1 pt.

~banana (1 6 oz.) = 2 pt.

...i mean amazing & i am no mathmetician but if you eat one of everything that is only 11 points...and you for sure will be full....

...so the lesson for this food for thought wednesday...FRUIT = EAT IT!!!

...until "are you enjoying your fruit, because i am;)" tomorrow...

so the 2nd day, not as great but not terrible either...

...positive thinking tuesday...

**disclaimer 572...just go ahead & eat...especially if you hanging out with your family & friends...remember tomorrow is another day & you can diet then...

...no matter what happens, you just have to go with the flow & that might be the possibility of blowing a diet to enjoy a meal with some of your favorite people;)...the most important thing is don't fret, just eat & enjoy it; then wake up tomorrow morning and face it head on with a diet mind set...live in the moment & if that moment does not call for dieting, eat the cake and smile as it goes down the hatch...

...i ate a little more than i wanted but the company was priceless, i'll deal with my ass later...

...until "a diet filled day" tomorrow...

i am coming out guns a blazin' & facin' the scale head on...

weigh day...loss = 0 lbs. total loss = -14 lbs....

disclaimer 845...keep saying "no" until you are blue in the face...(remember when you were a kid in school and you took part in the just say no to drugs program & they taught you several ways to say no, well that wasn't the only thing they were preparing you to say no to)...yep the food that wants you to double the size of yourself...so keep it up sistas, "just say no"

...when i am not dieting i can say that i pay attention to what is going into my fly trap...which often times can save my ass from growing week to week...thank God for that...so here i go again and stayed the same weight & i am definitely not complaining because i did not gain...however in order to drop some more poundage i need to diet (count points, because we all know it works) & i need to get my body moving...so for day 1 of being back on the wagon...(even though it was a close call, the bride & groom decided to extend their invitation of eating pizza to me, i turned the bride down flat & she backed down, but the groom came out strong; however even though i participated in this delight, i stayed within in my points) i am feeling pretty good, i just need to keep the ball rollin' for real (i keep saying it, because then i will believe & do it)...

...ohh the familiar territory that we keep going back to...but we have to stick with it...i have a lot riding on it, not just my ass but a bet (remember)...

....until "positive thoughts" tomorrow...

omg...what am i going to do with myself...

**disclaimer 120...what do you do when food keeps showing up in front of you...the answer is simple after contemplating what is best for you...you decide it is better to make yourself happy by eventually shoving it in your mouth, then having it move to your stomach, and then attaching itself to your ass...i didn't say what makes you happy is healthy, but you are for sure smiling aren't you:)

i cannot figure myself out...i am having the hardest time getting back on track...i have remained the same weight from last week; however we know that only lasts so long if i keep up my eating habits...so i am going to chuck this week up to i suck at life & for the moment i suck at dieting, with a capital "S"....however i am bound & determined not to give this up...all i need is one solid week & hopefully that can roller coaster into a healthier me (who are we kidding, a skinnier ass & thighs)...

so to answer inquiring minds...

NO...this is not the end just the middle (imagine you went up a hill & back down & got stuck in the damn valley...you just have to work extra hard to get back up that hill & to the top)

NO...i am not blogging once a week (i know it appears that away according to the last/this week)

...as always thank you for your support and patience...don't worry the fat bridesmaid/m.o.h...is still fighting the good fight...just often times the food gets the best of her, hey, i am a fat kid what do you expect...

until next time (it will be for sure consistently next week, scouts honor;)

just another manic monday....

....weigh day monday....well on this monday despite a birthday party....i managed to lose a 1.5 pounds...which i was pumped about...however i was thinking that to gain & lose that 1.5 pounds when i am at my goal wait, is no big deal...but at this point i would like that 1.5 pound to stay the hell off my body...and then when i get to my goal weight, it can stick around & then fall off when it feels like it....

*disclaimer 712...be thankful for the positives...like when your ass is 1.5 pounds lighter or when you don't blow your points...or just find a positive, like i buttoned my pants with one try & one deep breath...

...my niece turned 7 and we had a lovely party times 2...however i held back, so my body would not suffer today...

....weigh day was successful & hoping it continues until next week...

...until "another lovely day" tomorrow...

...just when you think you've got it...bam, a piece of cheesecake is thrown into your face...

day 179...

disclaimer 304...if you go over board one meal, try to reign it in for the other meals (or chuck it up to a f*ck*d diet day)

...& the theme for wednesday is....

"Food for Thought/Curve your Craving"...so on this episode of watch out, don't eat your face...i will tell you of things that help me deter my cravings or foods that i like to eat while dieting (& may even continue to eat after i stop dieting; so they all can't be that bad)

...so this one is more geared for curve your craving...instead of chips or if you are craving something salty...try eating cucumbers with salt on them...i find them delicious & they totally stop my stomach from screaming at me for some salt (disclaimer 22....watch your salt intake)...other veggies can substitute as great snacks (i mean some times they can help and then their are other times, you need to just to eat the damn chocolate), b/c most of the time they have 0 or no points...and if you add a little salt, bam, (do i sound like emril) salty snack, 1/4 of the calories...

day 179...went out to lunch, had a salad = good, & washed down with a piece of cheesecake = bad...

...until "the theme awaits us" tomorrow...

and here are at the end of day 2...

day 178...

disclaimer 342...have a plan, & a back up plan...i'm not saying you are going to fail, you are just being extra prepared...

...1st, my other good friend joined the bet, & no offense to the my first friend, she will definitely be stiff competition, will power like a stubborn jack ass (but she is not a jack ass, love ya;)...

...2nd...i have a plan for Oper. N.M.F.B/M.O.H., a "theme" for each day i will blog...i think it will help me in being more creative as well as it not being the same old sob story of me being a fat ass & continually blowing a diet...

so tuesdays theme is....wait for it..."...positive thinking tuesday..." so no negativity on tuesdays, & it will either be something positive that i get from this whole experience, or a positive thought, & it should make you smile & hopefully help you in your diet journey...

...Positive Thinking Tuesday...

....every time you make a decision in your life, you have to fully commit to it...& truly believe in that decision, if not then that decision is a lot harder to follow through...& the other part is, it must be your decision & not anyone else's....

...my decision is I CHOOSE TO BE HEALTHY...

being healthy means, exercising (i am working on that part)...eating healthy (even when the diet is over & i am not counting points), this will hopefully help you maintain your svelte look...i am also making healthy mind choices, staying positive & sending out peaceful vibes (kate, no comments)...

day 178...and we succeeded...and i was positive...& turned down chiptole;)

...until "another theme day" tomorrow...

...so back to square 1...

week 27...the day i returned to the diet...

...weigh day...i am at -12.5 lbs. & +1.5 since my last weigh day...

disclaimer 836...@ first you don't succeed, try, try again...

...hello my name is danielle, and currently i am a fat bridesmaid/maid of honor, & if i continue down this horrific path, my ass will not decrease in size but rather, grow back to be the size of rhode island....as of the start of august i am back doing my points (i know, i said it like 5 million times before, but for real, we are less than a year away & i also have a side bet going with my good friend)....as far as today goes, i was not perfect, but hell, we do not expect me to be perfect, that is why my version of dieting is so funny...

so thank you for patience...& just think, things are way better the 2nd time around;)...

day 177...weigh day -- +1.5lbs; -12.5lbs....

...i was offered pizza & i said no (well i tasted the crust once, well no twice), you have to start saying no some where & some times it takes baby steps...

...until "day 2 of the 2nd go around" tomorrow...

so here i am again & i am ready to get back on it or so i say...

week 26...day 176...weigh day after the hiatus

...last week, i checked after i got back from nyc about the weight situation...& i had lost a pound and half...now before you pee your pants & say congrats...i went about my business (the business of eating that is for the remainder of the week) and then did the appropriate weigh day today for it was the day that i am officially (yeah, officially blowing it) back on my diet...and i did lose...just not the whole pound & half...so what was the loss...-.5 lb. which is a positive considering i did not diet at all in new york...so i am now at a total loss of -14 lbs...

...disclaimer 345...so at the same point you stop dieting you must realize that you will have to start again because your ass has not shrunk to the size you hoped it would...

...so i must apologize for my absence in the last week from dieting & blogging....however never fear i was not absent from eating so that filled many voids...my saving grace was that it was freakin' hot in nyc and i sweated everything i ate & then some because i was walking lots o' places...that is probably the reason i did not gain and had lost that -1.5 lbs. temporarily...nyc was fun as always and the food was way way good....i definitely recommend you eat your way through the city, hell i did, but make sure you walk lots and just to be safe do it during the summer so you can guarantee nothing will stick with you....

...so i came back & was ready to go & then i had a few chips, some bites of caesar salad, a taster of tuna salad, & then later at my best friend's house i ate her entire pantry and then finished off the day with a bag party that had several toppings of chocolate treats...so way to start back with a bang...

...day 176...real weigh day -.5 lbs, total loss -14 lbs....

...1 day back and i blew it out of the water...

...until "calmer waters" tomorrow....

happy 4th of july...fireworks exploded & so did my waistline....

day 172 - 175...

...so here we are the fireworks are exploding in the sky & the patriotic music is playing in the background & i reach for a 2nd/3rd piece of cake & as the finale of the fireworks show is going off and the sounds of the drum & horns go off, my button shoots off my pants...what the hell how did that happen...well that is sort of kind of what happened but no pants sounded an alarm that told me to stop shoving food in my face...

...i can't even tell you...i am actually disappointed in myself...i am in a big fat (kind of like my ass) lull...i cannot get back on the diet wagon...i honestly believe that if i did not have this blog (which i am also sucking at life at as well) i would have probably stopped altogether...so thanks for the obligation of need for dieting coming from you & your positive vibes...and i am going back to NYC & not only going to enjoy my city but there is also the issue of food...& we all know that this fat chick is going to eat up (with restraint hopefully)...i am hoping after this week i will be uber motivated and kick my fat ass to the curb by the new "want to be skinnier" ass...

...so my apologies for being lame, & still fat, but i thank you a million times over for sustaining me this far...so 172 - 175 days into this diet & thank God (well my ass thanks ya) that i still am chuggin' along (barely, the fat is holding me back)

....until "we will make it another day" tomorrow...

HAPPY 4th!!!!

yesterday was book club & today was sushi...

170 - 171 days...

**disclaimer 835...you are like a moving train the more momentum (the more fat) you get, the train (your body) goes faster (gets fatter)...

yesterday i had book club with all kinds of good food...every time we have book club we are supposed to bring a dish to share...well i would like to share with you the recipe i brought & it was healthy (bring your chin back up to your mouth, it is not that big of a shocker)...

1...take angel food cake and tear it apart and place in the bottom of a pan or bowl

--angel food cake = 140 calories, 0 fat

2...get instant (not cook & serve) vanilla pudding and whip it up (if you use 1% or skim milk not so bad for you...& layer that on top of the angel food cake...

3...take berries whatever you prefer, i used blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, & raspberries & they are totally not bad for you at all...then becomes your next layer...

4...cool whip...i hate fat free so i get light & honestly cool whip is not terrible for you...that is your last layer...

5...now repeats Steps 1-4...and serve with a smile...

...now i am no cook, actually i wouldn't even feed what i make to my worst enemy....but it was good & a big hit...very light & refreshing...so pass it around, your friends will love you for a dessert that doesn't make them feel like a fat ass...

...& tonight i had sushi...mmmm, so so so good, i cannot even began to tell you & i am pretty sure not all of it was the best for me...but hell you only live once...

...day 170 - 171...what is wrong with me...i have to stop eating my face...

....until "stopping the train" tomorrow...

again with the no pictures & no loss...

day 169...week 25...weigh day...loss for the week - 0 lbs.; total loss -13.5 lbs...

**disclaimer 630...just keep holding on until the day is over & then go to bed early...& then give yourself a pat on the back for a successful diet done!!!!

...so we can chalk up another weigh day on the books to a big loss of ZERO pounds...maintaining positive thoughts & reminding myself that i am not growing either...i know the reason is the inconsistent dieting & i know i am the broken record that keeps playing, & playing...however i did one whole day of points last week (realizing as i am typing that there is 7 days in a freakin' week, so i am no where close to 100% participation, let alone 50%) but that is a jumping off point...i just have to be a smidgen (well a hell of lot more strict) more strict...as for today i did good...was right at or maybe 1 or 2 points over (i had a bite of a calzone & sip of pepsi, but otherwise i am golden:)

...i also tried to get some more pictures of my svelte self & again it would not work...so what does that say...but i can just tell you we got some work to do...it is getting better, my face does not appear to be as round but there are parts, that i am like, "damn did you not shrink at all"...so people even though i am not a fan, keep taking pictures, keep up the picture taking so as to keep motivating the fat chick in the picture (that would be me:)...

...week 25, 169 days...the numbers like my ass do not want to decrease (i have no idea why;)

...until "keeping the points" tomorrow...

ps...still waiting to hear from you:)

this is familiar territory...

day 166 - 168...

**disclaimer 491...make sure you are drinking enough during the day & we all know the recommended rule is 8 x 8...which is 64 oz./day...that is water not alcohol, ladies & gents;)

...first, 300 people have viewed my profile...thank God that number has reached the point of being more than my weight:)...so thanks for spreading the word and checkin' me out...you will be able to check me out even more after all the poundage is off...

a typical weekend...nothing super crazy, i was with my family & we ate of course; however my mom was really encouraging as she persuaded me to eat the last 2 strawberries...then proceeded to turn to me & say, "well now you can blog that i was helping you eat healthy instead of talking about bread & my fat ass" (she wanted to wash the plate too)...like i said before, your family has many profounds effects on you, in my case especially with my diet...& the award for the most supportive goes to my mother & her strawberries...Laura way to rock it out and support me in my diet endeavors...for your prize we shall eat ice cream (i know oxymoron (prize being ice cream for eating healthy strawberries, hmmmm), but whose to say strawberries can't go along with ice cream; if i just ate carrots for a celebration; who would want to celebrate;)

166 - 168 days...& the diet continues, strawberries & all, thanks mom...

....until "weigh day" tomorrow (did i mention that;)

i was going to post a recent picture of me, but wouldn't work, is that a sign this body is not ready for public viewing...

165 days...

**disclaimer 112...keep the negative talk to a minimum...talk yourself up, it allows for you to have a positive outlook on life & why the hell you keep dieting....

let us talk about my friend, the bread...i love, love bread...it is actually my kryponite (along with ice cream, fried food, & oreo cookies; you can have more than one, i am not superman;)...i believe if i didn't love it so so much, my ass might be a different size...however i have found bread that helps me feed my craving along with maintaining the points....a lot of name brands are coming out with them...they are sandwich thins, 1 point for all you Weight Watcher followers...it looks like a pita and tastes great...there also bagel thins, for those people who love their bagels (which i do)...by eating these i get my bread fix & not waste my points on 1 piece of bread (& then i can use those points for some cookies;)...it can actually be a whole sandwich bread/bagel...so thank you to whomever thought of this brilliant idea...

...enough bread talk...day 165...

...until "more of MY bread" tomorrow....

"here i go again, on my own"...going down the diet road again....."

day 164...

**disclaimer 826...dieting is not just about becoming skinnier; it is a change in lifestyle...so that later when the points are no more, you can still maintain & you don't blow up again to be 2 ton tess...

typical hump day & i got over the hump...points intact (i guess you can tell i didn't hang out with my brothers;)...i did however hang out with my besties & she is now watching what she eats...so it helps that when i go to her house we aren't just eating together, we are also supporting in each other in the diet cause...& i always say it is great to hear positive words & comments, it is also good to diet with friends/family...because when you want to eat that donut at kroger, & you say to your friend we will split it...she says no, you actually might put the donut down (or in my case you still eat it (hey its a sample; meant for eating), but then find out that it is gross & dry & not eat it because of the taste; serves you right for trying to sneak a bite while your friend is saying no;)...friends don't let friends eat like shit & get a fat ass...they stop you before the food even touches your mouth...

day 164... a day of friends & points...

....until "a good day" tomorrow...

it was good most of the day & then there came dinner...

day 163...

disclaimer 478...your family can be a good support system...but when you are related to mine, especially my brothers, they can be a good support to eat with;)...

...today was good, (well, started off good) i counted, & walked a bit & then came dinner...my brother called me & said you want chinese, at first i said no, & then something came over me & i agreed...then fast forward a few hours later...my other brother texted me, & said you want ice cream...with that one there was no hesitation, yes (i immediately texted back)...(because no fat kid will ever, i mean ever, turn down ice cream; even if it is that last 1/2 pound & your ass fittin in a dress, you are going to choose the ice cream)..so we walked (so that knocked some of the calories off) down to coldstone, but it was closed (that saved some more calories & even more b/c we all know the coldstone calories are out of control), so we walked to udf & i had a rootbeer float (way good)...it was good until dinner & then the fat kid came out & wanted to play...at least the whole day wasn't out of control;)

...quote of the weekend, courtesy of lauren l...."why would you eat a banana when there is chocolate chip cookies, that is just ridiculous." (can you tell why we are friends:)

...day 163...& 3/4 of the day was good (and that 1/4 of the day was b/c i was sleeping)

...until "staying away from my brothers" tomorrow (the only way i can save the diet & my ass)

...remember how i said i am back & ready to go...well that was the post for this week..

157 - 162 days...week 24...weigh day...(-1 lb.; total loss -13.5lbs.)

***disclaimer 721...when you fall, you have to pick yourself up...nobody else can lift your fat ass, so you are going to HAVE to do it yourself...:)

...wow! boy did i screw up last week in every way i could...i didn't even blog to tell you that i couldn't diet to save my life...like in order to save the boat from sinking i decided to screw the diet, eat the donut and watch the boat sink b/c my body couldn't say no to eating...it just screamed bad news for the diet...i know the hardest part of dieting is getting yourself started & what is even harder is taking a break and then coming back to it...& that is where i am at at this moment....however i do know that i am not done with this diet i am not even half way, so i know, it is actually a constant thought, that i can't stop...especially since i know the points work...

...so i started a fresh (FOR REAL) start this week...i do not have major plans that should screw up my restart of Operation N.m.F.b...i am also hoping that i will get back on track with the blogging b/c i know all 5 million of you miss me & my wonderful entries...i just have to get through this week with some hard core discipline & then it will start the ball rolling in the right direction...

...157 - 162 days of dieting here & there...i did lose a pound but if i am not careful those pounds will come back & haunt me & attach themselves to places on my body that do not need extras of anything...

...week 24...weigh day = -1lb.; total loss -13.5 lbs.

...until "the beat goes on" tomorrow...

it's that time again...

day 156...

**disclaimer 654..you will screw up; just try not to screw up the whole day...

...it is that time again, the time for me to shut up & for you to tell me how things are going...are you on diet?, do you find yourself craving cookies & cupcakes 5 out of 7 days (ohh wait, that is me;), do you have a fun healthy recipe to share (or cook for me)?, do you want to tell me something fun, hey it can't always be about food and the size of my ass...feel free to share...

156 days...and its about you...

until "back to me" tomorrow....

what i meant to say was, it starts on tuesday...

day 155...week 23...weigh day --i did not disappoint...- 0lbs.; so total loss stays -12.5lbs...

**disclaimer 764...set smaller goals, to achieve larger goals...

...well i think i have the maintaining part down...i stayed the same despite the dozen & half of lemon bars i consumed on sunday...however in saying that, i am ready to get myself going as i so gracefully pointed out yesterday (a little snafoo today; but i am golden for the rest of the week;)...i also decided that i would like to lose another 10 lbs. within the next month...i realize that is not the most ideal because it is a loss of more than 2 lbs./week & it is better to do less so the weight stays off...but if i am close to the 10 lb. loss than i will be happy & my ass will be smaller; its a win-win situation...so that is my short term goal that leads to a long term loss (i am so so clever);)...however today we had a little glitch, i went out to eat with my friend, & we all know my philosophy, "when going out to eat or a party, live it up & eat it up, you only live once, (according to fat kids r'us)"...so the points make their appearance tomorrow & hopefully so will that exercise...

...i forgot to mention, yesterday i went swimming, (i know, they outlawed whaling; but for me they made an exception & i was allowed in the pool) i wore my mom's swimsuit & i did not look god awful, which to be honest, it has been awhile since i felt relatively comfortable in a suit...i still have some here there on the ole' body to get rid of but its a start...bikini here i come, totally, totally kidding, whoa scary thought/image;)...

155 days...week 23...& the ass remains the same = 0 lbs. lost -12.5 lbs..

...until "bikini body" tomorrow...

P.S...almost 300 people have viewed my profile, way exciting, especially since the number of views is greater than my weight;)...

& tomorrow all systems a go...

days 152-154...

**disclaimer 918...desserts with fruit in them are not always bad for you, right? (at least that is what you can tell yourself as you shove 4 lemon bars in your face)

...so my diet life shall return to normalcy tomorrow...back to some counting of some points, i would also like to go back to my walking & another type of exercise (no, it is not my hand lifting food to my mouth)...it is also the infamous weigh day...so we shall see what my lack of everything has brought me too...

...however before i dive back into diet city...let us talk about what i did eat this past weekend...another party for my family; which means more of that good food...you can sort of think of it is like my last meal (well, we all know that is not true because there is a hell of lot more family & even more food that will come with them)...well they had fried chicken, (yeah, that's good for you) it was so so good...then i had some cheesy potatoes, salad (snaps for me), a half dozen lemon bars (mmm i can't tell you how much i love them)...then ohh wait my cousin, Kim made cookies (not just chocolate chip but mint chocolate chip, heath chip, dark/white chocolate chip, & M&M & i love her cookies & HAD to taste all of them, HAD TO!) & she made me a goodie bag for the ride back home (thank God they made it all the way back to T-town; so then i could eat them today, thanks Kim;)....then for today, i had steak, veggies, noodles & some cookies my sister in-law, Amira made...so it was a cookie weekend, what's a fat kid to do...it's easy, don't fight it, eat them...

152-154 days...get a cookie, eat 1, 2, 3, or 4...wait you are supposed to stop at 1, oops too late now;)

...until "definitely no cookies" tomorrow....

some times all you need is a face lift...

day 151...

**disclaimer 673...a little nip & tuck here and there & BAM!!! what do you have??...a new outfit that fits your new svelte body (geez, what did you think i was talking about)

....so i changed a little bit here and there on the blog...what do you think?; let me know & i can tweak it...just like each & everyday i tweak my body (especially to get into a pair of jeans;)...

...one main important thing that i have realized & i think we all struggle with is a positive body image...as long as you are healthy, your body image & how you view it will be determined by you, no matter the number on the scale...you will never reach happiness with your body until you except your body...i know i went on the big Operation to look 'ohh so hot' for some weddings, but also i was not happy with the grand ole' fatness that i saw in the mirror...but slowly as i lose some weight i am gaining back a positive self image...eventually it will come back fore fold (or if not then i will definitely be looking into some other options, paging Dr. Lyposuction; just kidding;)...not to say its a negative body image now, it is more of displeasing one & i am climbing the mountain (at least i am doing mental exercises;) of gaining my positive self image & it may not be perfect but it is mine & i will own it...just like at this moment i own the size of my ass...

day 151...to the positive vibes that i feel the need to spew all over this week...hell i am not counting might as well be positive...

until "more positivity" tomorrow...

today i woke up & felt skinny; what a feeling...

150 days...

**disclaimer 125...go for a walk with friends...exercising (my version is a short walk) is way better with friends...so make it happen...

...well today i had one of those morning where i felt skinny, it actually even lasted the whole day...you know what i am talking about you wake up & look at yourself in the mirror & don't have the feeling of wanting to puke at the image of yourself in the mirror, then you add some clothes & then say, wow i look pretty good in these clothes...you just have that feeling of today is not going to be a fat day...well for me that was today, & i will not hold my breath for it to carry over into tomorrow but hey, you never know, the skinny gods might shine on you 2 days in a row or hell even a week (i know i am gettin' a little crazy, but i am also a dreamer, and in my dreams i have a smokin' hot body everyday, i mean don't we all;)...however you might as well relish in the skinny moment...it also provides motivation on the days when you want to eat a donut or 2, or when you see the fat girl in the mirror and cannot believe your body has evolved to the thing you are staring at in the mirror...the sun will shine on another day & that will be the day, like today that you feel & look skinny...just hold on to it...

day 150...& damn, good skinny day...

until "another skinny day" tomorrow...

you want points; i'll give you points...

day 149...

**disclaimer 203...remember we talked about wearing black, let us revisit the thought...black pants can do wonders;)

...so today was your typical day of fat...i ate 2 cookies & finished off my chiptole...& i know i sound redundant, but often when it comes to a true fat kid, we tend to have redundancy, like eating a cookie over & over, or sitting on a chair (i.e. not exercising) over & over, forcing yourself into pants over & over...see where i am going, almost bound to happen...; however (remember fat kids tend to have an excuse because we can justify anything) i worked today doing inventory at the memorial tournament & i had to lift several boxes over & over & over...so i added in a little exercise into my life for the day (rather i was forced into exercise)...

....do you think it might be possible for ones' stomach to shrink...i think mine has or do you think it is mind thing...where your body gets used to NOT eating half the cabinet & refrigerator & keeps repeating, "hey there, fatty you don't have to eat everything on the plate." what do you think about my theory...i think that my stomach has gotten used to eating less & my brain is saying, "stop eating," instead of, "you can't not not eat that last bite of sandwich." or it could be the fact that my ass is screaming, "hey there if you don't realize & stop eating, they are going to give you a moomoo as opposed to a bridesmaid dress." hmmmmm, what do you think?

day 149...points, yeah i got nothin' (hoping to return strong next week)

...until "the brain says stop" tomorrow...

it's been awhile did you miss me??

days 145 - 148...week 22 & still fat;)...loss = 0 lbs which equals a total loss of -12.5 lbs...

**disclaimer 976...when you stop seeing progress, take a deep breath, it is ok everyone hits a rough patch, you just have to decide what to change, & that being eating 3 cookies as opposed to 5...

...weigh day...maintained the same weight as the last couple of weeks...so not a whole to report...i am hoping this is my last week that i will have blow off days...& then come next week i will be back on track...i know i say it like every week (well everyday) but i for real mean it...i am thankful that my ass has maintained its plump shape & i have not gained anything but at the same time i am not losing anything either...and i know the reason is i am not doing lots of exercise (hell i am not doing any) but i am not eating a ton but at the same time not making wise decisions & maintaining my points...i need to start the diet motor back up and trim some fat;)...so there it is i suck at life & most importantly suck a big one at the moment when it comes to my diet....

145 - 148 days....week 22...no loss but i stayed the same (can i get a hell yeah, or maybe a "wtf" danielle 3 weeks of nothin...)

...until "positive diet thoughts" tomorrow...

"i don't even feel like eating," says the bridesmaid/m.o.h.& then the crowd is speechless

143 & 144 days...

**my apologies for the lack of a blog post i am working lots of hours & was exhausted yesterday...

disclaimer 130...working and less eating i bet is a good way to maintain & possibly lose weight...

my week has been crazy & for the most part i have been very consistent during the day & then at night not so great...however in my defense (remember a fat kid can defend anything when it comes to food), i have been working an insane amount of hours (i am actually doing the heavy eye lid/head bobbing almost falling asleep as i am typing; so please excuse me for the shortness of this post as well as how blah it might actually be)...i am not eating a lot during the day & what i am eating is decent food & i am hoping that it paves the way into next week where i hope to be back full swing (yes, you can say i that, you won't hold your breath for my dieting skills)...the dinners at night are posing a small problem...been craving a lot of different foods, & like any true fat kid i am satisfying the hunger, 1st the dough balls, 2nd subway sub (veggie, snaps for that), 3rd panera's chicken & wild rice/ roast beef sandwich...not bad food, i mean the dough balls do have cheese on them so it counts for something...i think i am just too tired to think, but however not to eat;)

day 143 & 144...crazy weeks = crazy eating...

...until "keepin' it real with the diet" tomorrow...

day started off good & then ended with dough balls...is anyone a loser here?...hmmm

day 142...

disclaimer 928...the easier it will be for all of us when you realize that some times the cookie calling your name is far greater than you not eating it...

...so i was amazing today...i rocked my diet and then i met the night time & my stomach screamed, "feed me dough balls, feed me dough balls," & after i toiled back & forth for hours (or a whole of 5 minutes, who am i kidding my mind was made up even before i finished saying the words, "may i have some dough balls." & then before i knew it all the dough balls disappeared from my container, if i didn't know any better i would think that i was a magician, but then i recalled that i just happen to hoover them...what's a fat kid to do, the food often disappears when we are around, at least you won't have left overs;)...however i should get points for my efforts right?, i mean i did have an amazing day filled with fun food choices, like a banana, a turkey sandwich, and other food that was totally with in my realm of points...i just shot outside the box with the dough balls (& did i forget to mention the wings too;)...

142 days...& comin' in the home stretch & i blew it out of the freakin' fat park...

...until "a whole day of dieting" tomorrow

happy memorial day...what did you eat???

day 141...21 weeks....-0 lbs. total loss -12.5 lbs...

...i decided measurements every other week...

disclaimer 321...get motivated...look at your self in the mirror, naked, and you will scare yourself into a diet (well at least it does for me; why do you think i have stuck with this for so long)...

...i changed & made addendums for the blog check it out...(or just notice i inserted the phrase maid of honor in a couple of places)

...so memorial day looks like a fun food fest...i didn't get too crazy so i am proud of myself...started out with a good breakfast at the German Village Coffee Shop (on thurman in german village, way good hash browns) & then ended the day with a cookout with steak (meat food group), corn (veggie food group), fruit (fruit food group, if you couldn't guess that by the word fruit), & black bean, corn, avocado, onions salsa (that hits like 1 or 2 food groups & ps i didn't mention the tortilla chips that went with the salsa), & then cheesecake (that would be the dairy food group right?), so i just ate my way through the food groups, i am sure everybody did, that is what happens when you have such a variety of foods...

...also the wedding conversation came up & it seems to be a common theme that everyone wants to lose a few before the big days...just as we eat together we shall diet together (eating is way more fun; but some times you have to bite the bullet & not eat the cake; you can't have a skinny ass & eat your cake too; wait for the weddings & then it will be raining cake;)...so come on down & join Operation No More Fat Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor, or Operation I can't look at myself in the mirror without cringing, or Operation My Holy Fat Ass, or whatever Operation you need to do...

day 141/21 weeks...weigh day -0 lbs. (hey, i didn't know i was going to be a made of honor until saturday, give a girl a week to really crack down & then watch out, but remember with me, don't hold your breath)...

...until "the crack down begins" tomorrow...

brace yourself!!!

days 138 -140...

disclaimer 439...find your support system, people who you can diet with & complain about your ass & they complain right back & also those who will eat a piece of pie with you & love you for it:)

EXTRA, EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT...OPERATION NO MORE FAT BRIDESMAID BECOMES OPERATION NO MORE FAT BRIDESMAID/MAID OF HONOR...

..see how fast things come up, just like after eating french fries & cookies, bam your ass is huge...

...that is right i am now a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding & my sister got engaged and she begged me to be the made of honor (more like i volunteered for the job; & told her i don't mind at all being the made of honor)...so i no longer can blend in with the other bridesmaid (or actually pray that another bridesmaid will be fatter than me)...i will be standing right next to another skinny ass bride, my sister, & last time i checked the good year blimp, i.e. me in a bridal party dress, is not what you look for as your made of honor...no worries marisa i will be just as hot & svelte for your wedding as i am for nick's...thank God i started in January, well sort of...ehhh, its a process that just kicked in high gear...

...Congrats to Doug & Marisa...lots o' blessings today & always....i will not let you down, & be that fat person in the bridal party...

...officially i need to kick some diet ass...probably not tomorrow because i will be enjoying the memorial day festivities....but there is always tuesday, right?!?!....

...138 -140 days & love the pressure from all these weddings, reunions, parties, my mirror, the scale, the buttons on my clothes & the list goes on...

..until "memorial day" tomorrow...

it started ok & ended up being a little scary...

day 137...

**disclaimer 841...balance your meals...start the day off with a sausage, egg & cheese sandwich & end with ColdStone ice cream cone, some times the balance tips to the unhealthy side...ehhh, what are you going to do;)...

...after my whole escapade about making sure i would be dieting, so i could look fab for my high school reunion...i went ahead & dove off the diet deep end today...i started with a sausage, egg & cheese on english muffin from HangOverEasy (the place i work on neil btwn 10th & 11th in case you forgot)...we have hands down the best sausage that i have ever tasted (i say this b/c normally i am not partial to sausage but there is something about our sausage, it is farm fresh from Ritteberger's, Zanesville, Oh...which is hop skip & jump from columbus, so it is kind of local, but it just has an amazing flavor; do you like my plugs???)...i actually had a discussion with one of the girls, my friend, who works with me...she tried to convince me to get a fruit & yogurt parfait (also amazing, but i wanted meat)...sorry Lynn, you did your best but my stomach was saying, "eat some damn meat"....so after that, i managed to rein in the rest of the day, so yippee for me, BUT (yes there is always a but, especially in my case, haha get it i made a funny;)...my brother had a brilliant idea about getting ice cream, not just a single dip but ColdStone Creamery and all its glory...& i took the bait, actually he held me down and beat me to go with him...so after suffering a beating i had to soothe my pain & eat ice cream (or the real version was he said you want ice cream, & i said, without even contemplating, "yeah") & we walked down to (exercise; snaps for me) & i had cheesecake fantasy, it had fruit in it...there is more of that balance i was talking about..."ehhh, what are you going to do"....

...137 days & at the moment i am failing miserably....

...until "God help me" tomorrow....

it's reunion time, relax it is not me & some food getting together, rather me & some old friends...

day 136...

**disclaimer 592...plan your diet day...don't get crazy...you don't need to say at 12:10 I will be eating 1 banana & a weight watcher meal (that might be borderline obessive)...just think ahead so that later on you aren't thinkin' damn I shouldn't have eaten the cookie & the icecream, now I have no points to actually eat my dinner....

...typical hump day....I meant to tell y'all...I have another motivation to lose the fat that surrounds, rather succombs my whole body...my lovely 10 year reunion from high school is this year (i.e...my high school class coming together to admire what each other has become & then basically gossiping about who looks like shit & has done shit with their lives, well just like I will not be the fat bridesmaid, I prefer also not to be the fat ass classmate, who has let herself go and everyone is like, " damn what happened to her."....we all have been there...

The reunion is in august so I have some time to get myself together & hopefully over the next 3 months, I will lose another 12.5 lbs....which would be amazing...watch out world, here I come (now I just need a job for my hottie body)...

& p.s...I realize the REAL reason for losing the weight is for my health and my own personal image...(right & whoever believes it is just for themselves (& I'm not saying part of the reason isn't for yourself but come on), can go eat a donut and then get into a bathing suit while singing, "I'm every woman" in front of your entire graduating class & the hot guy/girl you have a crush on...any takers?

Ok enough of me I'm out of control...what a hump day...day 136....wow...
...until "controlling myself" tomorrow....

if you are going to drink, might as well have a sex on the beach....

day 135...

**disclaimer 654...stop snacking on shit you could save yourself a few calories as well as prep yourself to eat a good hardy meal later on...

...today was my book club day, so while i was discussing a very awesome book (Caught by harlan coben)....i did not watch my what went into my mouth...but i did however not over eat while i was there...we even had cheryl & company cookies which i love, i love...& i brought one back with me & i DID NOT eat the 2nd one, no need to check your hearing aid, i said it correctly I DID NOT eat it...snaps for me...

& to top off i made myself a sex on the beach (peach schnapps, vodka, cranberry juice, orange juice), not too bad...and it helps you sleep & it has juices in it so that is part of the fruit group & that counts for some good eating or hmmm drinking...

day 135...a day in the life of fruit juices & a diet down the drain...

...until "normal day & no more sex on the beach" tomorrow....

quote of the day "lypo is the best form of dieting; however it does not get rid of cellulite"

134 days...weigh day, -1lbs; total loss = 12.5 lbs.

**disclaimer 201...surround yourself with good friends...if they really care about you they will convince you not to eat the pizza dough balls, or the cookies, or the pie, or the pizza, or the wings, or (you fill in the blank)...

...so today was weigh day and i almost flipped a lid (not that i had the right too, b/c i only counted points twice last week); however i realized losing one pound is better than staying the same & a hell of a lot better than gaining...and i also measured myself...so here is a big leap of faith here are the measurements:

hips: 43 3/4 inches

thigh: 25 1/2 inches

fullest part of my stomach: 39 1/4 inches

actual waist: 31 1/2 inches

(not the 36-24-36, but hey i am work in progress)

today as far as dieting goes it was pretty good, especially because my friend, michelle, convinced me (well she yelled at me several times, "no" that i could not have pizza dough balls; i highly recommend them they are delicious, from the Corner Cookout, on High St in Columbus)...well I opted not to get them due to my friend's better judgement; if she wouldn't have been here i probably would have ate all 6 and then had a cookie, so thank you michelle for saving me & my behind...so as far as today goes, the only reason i succeeded & stayed under my points was because of michelle & her persistence to keep me to my points...so the best friend diet award goes too michelle (if you need a diet friend i have her number & can diet whore her out to you if you want)...

day 134 & the diet rolls on; props to michelle...weigh day -1 lbs....& some other measurements...

...until "fun dieting& no more dough balls" tomorrow...

what a weekend...

days 131-133...

**disclaimer 75...have you ever felt ill (not like puking, etc.; but gross feeling) after you ate something you shouldn't because it basically adds on another ass, do you think that is a hint, as too maybe, hey fat ass next time don't eat the damn food...

...well tomorrow will be a day in the books, not only for weigh day but also for my measurements, so we can hopefully see progress not just on the scale but with the my measurements on the decrease...

...it was a crazy weekend...not a whole lot of crazy eating but enough to stop my progress...i really, really need to get back on track...i think i followed my points like 2 days last week, that is awful, no one can expect results if you aren't actually doing the diet, so i have a lot to work on this week...and it is not going to be easy considering i have book club = food; a couple of coffee meetings = more food (however i plan on keeping my drinks from my coffee places on the non fat side...so it will be interesting...i am just hoping i will get everything back on track & then have lots of positives to pass on to you...

...& ps i ate chipotle this weekend & o.m.g what indigestion, i think my ass via my stomach was telling me hey stupid maybe you shouldn't eat it or you are going to pay...& i learned my lesson...

day 131-133...another weekend down and some food eaten...

...until "measurement day" tomorrow...

...let's talk numbers...

day 130...

**disclaimer 208...be patient with yourself, some times when you are working on a project (i.e...losing a couple, if not all of your asses) it might take awhile and there could be several setbacks...God didn't create the world in 3 days and you will not lose your ass in 3 months (well if you are like me you won't)...but eventually it happens (if not there is always lypo;)

1st...starting next Monday I will be adding new numbers for weigh day....the lovely bride, suggested I do measurements & record it...which will be a big step considering I will have to divulge the actual circumference of my ass, scary thought...so stay tuned...

2nd....I have been on this diet for 130 days, which is a little over 4 months, which is almost 17 weeks...and have lost to this day, only 11.5 lbs...you do the math; however we can't analyze this too long otherwise I might want to cry and eat a box of cookies...I wasn't kidding when I said it would be a long road...

Ok that's enough for today...too many numbers...
Day 130...
....until "forgetting the numbers" tomorrow...

typical...hump day...

day 129...

**disclaimer 543...the color black is your best friend...your ass no matter the size can appear smaller if you wear black...so buy every outfit in black, your ass will thank you...

...hump day....what can i say boring...cereal tasted good...i had 2 bowls...i know i am getting my grains in...and i actually went for a walk today...i was on a mission to take pictures and walked to "The Oval" (big grassy area with sidewalks dividing it in the middle of ohio state; one of the coolest parts of osu)...so that was a positive even though i honestly was not doing it for the exercise (i kind of want to insert after that statement, "that's what she said" & i just did)....

...i know we talked about it before, but another reason to lose weight is that not only do you look better in your clothes; but you feel better in them...that feeling of uncomfortableness & the thoughts of "O.M.G what the hell is that roll doing hanging over my jeans" and "where the hell did that come from, as you stare at the back spillage out of your bra" & "why can't i breathe in these jeans when i sit down, i must have just washed them"...these thoughts and feeling start to disappear...i am not say they are all gone but there is definite progress...& that is the point baby steps (especially for me b/c if we were sprinting through this diet i would have stopped several miles back at the dunkin' donuts and then yet again at coldstone; fat kids need marathons; well maybe 1/2 marathons, were trying to lose weight people not become the next olympic star)...

day 129 & all its randomness...22 points & a walk to top it off...

...until "the jeans fitting" tomorrow...

happy birthday...have a piece of cake or 2...

day 128...

**disclaimer 410...a birthday is a birthday...you are celebrating a person's life...eat a piece of cake (or 2) ;)

my brother's actual birthday was today which = food, food, & more food...so as far as the Operation N.m.f.B goes, it did not go today...i even had 2 pieces of cake today so that for sure put me over the edge & added to my ass even if the steak and potatoes didn't...the good news is the food was good and i have no food regrets what so ever:)...

...besides eating way good food today, i had several compliments come my way; which makes me feel good about the progress i have made & provides the motivation i need to keep going...even though it might be a hard pill to swallow, think about this, if people are complimenting on how great you look now, it is a little bit scary to think about what you looked like before & how big your ass was then....if that thought is not enough to stay motivated to be svelte, i honestly don't know what else is;)

...128 days...good food, good compliments, good times...

...until "a motivational" tomorrow...

let's adjust the points & see what happens...

day 127...week 19...

...weigh day (i almost wish weigh day was on tuesday so i would have a day to get back on track, but i guess you play, you pay); weight loss...not a whole lot; which means 0 pounds lost...so total loss remains -11.5lbs...

**disclaimer 209...when your butt is jiggly, it means you must do exercise so it does not jiggle...

...story from the weekend...(don't worry i am only going to tell my embarrassing part)...so my wonderful niece who has a gift for telling the truth (& i would not change her one bit)...hit my butt...and says, "aunt danielle, your butt jiggles, why does it jiggle?" which i then avoided telling her why it does that & we all know the reason is because aunt danielle participated in eating one too many ice cream sundaes, cookies, & the list goes on & aunt danielle does not do enough or does not do any squats...instead i laughed....

...i have also decided on this weigh day that even though i have not hit my mark according to weight watchers, i am going to cut back on my points...so instead of eating 20-25 points, i will now eat between 18-23 points per day & see how that helps in the weight loss department...i also need to stop the food fests on the weekend & kick up the exercise gear...all three combined, i should be seeing some results...

...week 19...day 127...weigh day = 0 lbs. loss...23 points...

...until "less points & less jiggles" tomorrow

a fat kid's dream...

days 124 -126....

**disclaimer 429...after you lose some weight...treat yourself to a new outfit or get a haircut...your body is subtracting some lumps & bulges, so might as well have the hairdo & clothes to match...

Hmmmm...so this weekend was my mom's birthday & my brother's almost birthday...& with every birthday comes cake or dessert (& when my sister or my mom is involved, there is usually not just one cake/dessert there is 3 or 4, & then comes the issue of "having" to taste all of them; otherwise its rude & we all know we want to know how all of them taste)...so as my sister in law so eloquently put it as the first one rolled out of the kitchen "this is a fat kid's dream"....and she was right...however I would say it's a fat kid's dessert land topped with whip cream... (like candy land you keep hittin' the jackpot going from dessert to dessert)...& tomorrow being weigh day, I know the scale will not be forgiving considering I did have all 3 on top of the amazing dinner...so instead of me talking about diet food let's do a quick recap of what I have been partaking in...after all the title of my blog is Operation No More Fat Bridesmaid...you have to know where I have been (fat ass world) & some times still in (fat ass world & trying to get out it), in order to understand where I would like to be (skinny ass world;but some times hanging out in fat ass world)...hence the word FAT and the 3 outstanding desserts that are present in my stomach or attached to my ass...

The first was the ice cream sandwich cake...yep exactly...layer ice cream sandwiches, cool whip, chocolate pieces and repeat & top it off with chocolate drizzle (mouth watering yet?; it should be)...next there was a brownie cake but the inside was pudding mixed with cool whip and the cake insides....yep also delicious...finally a cookie cake from those cookie companies...& I'm not a frosting person but I love the vanilla frosting....so good...ate all 3; happy weigh day...

Now that I have made you want to go out get dessert...at least I know we are eating it together...

...124 -126 days...dessert r'us...& I will take one of each...
...until "weigh 'omg' day" tomorrow...

my turn to shut my pie hole & your turn to talk...

123 days & counting...

**disclaimer 271...Eat Fruit (often provides the sugar fix you need)

...it is that time again for you to talk and me to say nothing...we all know i am going to say a short something, i can't help myself...i am going to shut my face for five seconds (i might lose a pound)....& let you talk...give me advice on staying svelte, a healthy recipe (my mom or sister can whip it up for me;), what you do for exercise, how you resist the temptation when the food comes a callin', or anything else that i or my fine readers might benefit from...so i expect/HOPE that i have 100 posts from you (in reality; 11 amazing posts)....can't wait....

day 123...23 points...no exciting food today

...until "the adventure continues" tomorrow...

it's sushi time...

day 122....

**disclaimer 597...after you go shopping and buy all the yummy food, keep reminding yourself, that you do not have to go & eat it all in one sitting...

...i was thinking back on how i got myself into this predicament of being a fat ass...i remember thinking that i just had to keep eating...not like i was obsessed with food (well maybe, because i still love it, i just changed the way i looked at food), but for some reason something in my head was saying "it might not be there tomorrow, might as well eat it today", or "everything on your plate should be gone, especially if it was just one bite left", & (after i went to the grocery store) "that looks good, i need to eat that & that & that," & before i knew it half the damn groceries were eaten before i even got home...

...& after being on Operation N.M.F.B...i know that my thinking was crazy...i do not have to finish everything on my plate if i am full or even if i am not full...just stop eating...close my mouth (not only would my ass thank me but so would some people around me;)...& the whole point of going to the grocery store is to have food to eat when you get home, so eating it on the way home, defeats the purpose...& if the food happens to not be there because someone else ate it, it is ok that is one less thing that will be attached to my ass...over the course of the last 122 days i have come to realize that i do not have always to be eating or overeat to the point of fat breathing...because when the diet stops & i am a skinny b*otch, these tools are what is going to help me stay svelte & not become a fat bridesmaid yet again...so for my hump day, was a "aha day"....

day 122...we ate sushi (my s.i.l. was craving it, so against my will i was forced to eat sushi, & totally did not enjoy it; thanks cena;)...

...until "hmmm" tomorrow...

compliments r' us makes a fat kid smile...

121 days...

**disclaimer 275...often when you can't count the point value of some foods because you are not sure of how many points it would be or just cannot figure it out...don't fret, just count the ones you know and control those points...you can only do so much...

...we have talked about it before, but compliments do make the "dieter in question" feel so good about what they are doing, especially after they have eaten more than half of the island of manhattan...even the smallest of the smalls compliment makes a world of a difference and for that moment we smile a bigger smile & then move on, thinking all of our hard work is actual paying off to decrease the size of our asses...

...& for today it was not terrible...i am not sure of some food items i ate but i maintained the ones i did know...like the rice krispies, bananas & milk....a special k bar, etc....and then i deal with the food i am not too sure about...i do not know the exact amount of points i ate today but what i do know for sure is that i am not under but i am not way over either & as i G.I. Joe says it the best, "knowing is half the battle"...

day 121...i have to stop typing, because this is probably one of the worst entries ever & i can't even tell you where my head is right now...enough, "oy" (my new word maybe?)

...until "another oy day" tomorrow...

we can all breathe...it wasn't that bad...

day 120...

...week 18...weigh day...and i gained (it's totally ok) +2 lbs...which is not horrible considering all the food i ate...

...so after i stood on the scale and realized i didn't jump a whole 5 lbs...i took a deep breath and thanked God (because of my cupcake, sushi, pasta, french fries, corn beef, yada, yada eating, my ass could have gotten way out of hand)...then i debated whether i should walk across the street to get milk, which i opted not to, just didn't feel like it & did not eat anything until like 5:00 (now that is lack of motivation & me being lazy & not wanting to get up so i did not eat), however i do not recommend that because i thought i was going to pass out (so anorexia will not be the way i lose my weight)...but then i decided to eat, and i have to tell you after being off the points, not so easy to get back on...i got used to eating what i wanted and not paying (too much) attention to how much & what i was eating...but i succeeded, & day 120 is over...

...week 18, day 120...+2 lbs....21 points

...i would also like to point out this is probably the longest i have stuck with a diet/blogging & that is thanks to you because i feel as if you wait to hear from me (i know you totally don't wait but i keep thinking that & it keeps me going)...& there is also the reason of me not being a TOTAL FAT ASS...

...& other p.s...my mom reassured me that my +2lbs. is only water weight...isn't she da best:)

well it is about that time...one foot in front of the other and my fat ass on the scale....

days 116 - 119...and the night before the ultimate weigh day...i can't even begin to tell you how nervous i am...

**disclaimer 329...no matter how painful it may be you have to step on the scale no matter how many days you have blown your diet...make sure though you have plenty of alcohol or anti-depressants after you get off the scale...

1st things 1st....HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! "...they are the people that pick us up when we fall, laugh at us when no one else thinks we are funny, stick with us when everyone else has left, and love us no matter what...they are our moms"...to all the moms, especially my mom, thank you:)

...i am back in the state of ohio & i am a little nervous in regards to tomorrow...it is the first weigh day in 2 weeks of eating my way through new york city...i am actually thinking the scale will tip majorly in the direction i do not want it to go...however my mom being my biggest fan of my weight loss endeavors (hell she loves me despite my fat ass & bulging hips:) kept providing me with motivational, positive words of how great i looked & i how i looked like i lost weight...let's hope she is right...she even told me all that walking negated the fact that i ate half the island of manhattan...

...the positive about tomorrow is that i get back to the points (& maybe a brisk walk)....hopefully my body responds in a optimistic way instead of going into convulsions from a lack of food...so along with my reporting how big my ass is grown, i will also give you a look into a fat bridesmaid back on the diet wagon...

days 116 - 119...the beat goes on and so shall Operation N.m.F.b...

p.s i am back to my normal schedule of bloggin' too...don't get too excited...

until "game day" tomorrow...

cinco de mayo...cinco de fat ass...

115 days...

**disclaimer 576....everybody plays a part...yours just happens to be that of the fat ass...now the decision becomes, do i give in to the part and eat the donut or change my role and eat the apple...ahhh hell, screw it, eat the donut:)

more walking and less eating that it was i like to type and it is pretty much true to form...except (of course there is an exception)...today i went down to the east village, very different from the west village...unique in every way about it...there is a placed called, Pommes Frites on 2nd ave. right off St. Marks Place...(not sure if i mentioned but little recap)...it is FRENCH FRIES, need i say more with several choices of dipping sauce...how can you go wrong, these fries are better to eat with other people but i wanted to go get me some being that i am in new york...very delicious, i chose rosemary garlic mayo & sundried tomato mayo as my dipping sauce....i preferred the latter but i was eating french fries, i didn't have much to complain about...and tomorrow or friday i am going to go down to little italy buy some pizza & canolis (pizza for me; canolis for my brother)...have you noticed a trend more about me eating and less about the dieting...probably not the smartest...if you can't lose the weight, might as well enjoy the food....kidding i will be back next week with points to count...

day 115...happy cinco de mayo...happy eating & drinking...

...until "the food journey" returns..

ohh boy...i am reaching the point of just plain old fat....

days 112 -114....and the beat (diet) goes on...

**disclaimer 346...gage by your clothes...you can always tell if you are losing or gaining by your clothes...& when they get tight buy stretchy pants...then they never feel tight & you keep eating; wait is that the way I am supposed do it,hmmmm:)

...i am so going to need detox after i come back....i have had everything under the sun & i am getting nervous come next week when i will actually have to weigh in...i do not think it will be pretty...hopefully as i get in more walking...i can save myself a pound or two...i just can't say no to food (we all know that or i wouldn't be writing a blog about being a Fat Ass Bridesmaid) & i can definitely not say no when i am surrounded by such amazing varieties of food...

...yesterday...we went to a street vendor and had a falafel sandwich (chick peas mushed with some other stuff made in to a patty then fried shoved into a pita with hummus or tzatziki sauce, lettuce, tomato & other vegetables if you deem necessary)...i know you are thinking description sounds "ehh, ok" but it is like a dance disco in your mouth...then later on we ate a cupcake from Crumbs (i mentioned before the croissant but wholly hell the cupcakes are whole other playing field)...and to top it off more sushi finished with lemon gelato (which was not heavy or i think bad but a breath of fresh air)...that is a typical day of eating in nyc...i can't stop myself, nor do i care too...anywho we shall wait to see what happens wednesday, thursday, & friday...& then when the good year blimp (my ass), steps on the scale i will cry & then have a therapy session with kate (the bride who is going in to counseling & she will tell me i have food issues and need to address them head on & when i say i am, because i am eating them, she will say we need to find an alternative way of dealing with them {kate did i do a good job???}...)

enough food talk for me...112-114 days (as i got close to the 100 days and beyond my ass got bigger as the road went downhill)...

...until "typical day of eating" tomorrow....

if you ever want to remember why you go on a diet; go to a store and try on some clothes..

day 110...

**disclaimer 981...after you try on clothes at a store and then you want to slit your wrists...think about this, the people who are manufacturing clothes are skinny bitches & f**ck'em all...

...this will be short & sweet...i went into the city & ate & then went into a couple of stores & got rejected from all of my clothes i tried on (which sucked because i thought i was doing well pre-new york & those sizes, you know for damn sure i am not about to divulge that number, fit me otherwise) & then realized that my diet is so far from being over...when you need a reality check go try on a pair of shorts or pants from the gap or express because they sure do not fit people who have hips or asses...and ps to all you designers, etc...it says boyfriend style for a reason, i am not dating no skinny ass guy so why the hell don't they fit like my boyfriend's pants would...

i am done, screw them all...

day 110...trying on clothes sucked my left toe...but that didn't stop me from eating...

...until "my fat ass tries on more clothes that do not fit" Sunday...

maybe its better when i go into the city; then i can eat as much as i walk...

109 days...

**disclaimer 210...balance, balance...you should have a balanced diet, a balanced lifestyle & when you eat fries, a burger, & a shake you might want to balance it out with a piece of fruit and a stroll through the park...

i stayed out of the city today but ate just as much as if i were in the city...not the best idea but what are you going to do....i had 2 bowls of cereal (& not the good for you cereal but the sugar, good stuff...lucky charms & fruit loops)...and then a turkey wrap, and then some homemade trail mix (my cousin made it & it was way way good, filled with dried fruits, nuts, chocolate/vanilla chips, need i say more)...then later on we went to this way cute restaurant way way north of the city...we had, i felt, everything...started with calamari, then a salad with a fab dressing, & then our main dishes a brown rice dish with chicken and yogurt/red sauce, & a coconut milk curry with noodles & shrimp...and the ice cream place was closed so we passed on that..but when i got back i had a coke with some pretzels and rice cakes...what am i going to do with myself...

my apologies for the chronicles of my eating & how boring and ridiculous they are...but i am back to the city tomorrow...

...day 109...a lot of days, & a lot of days filled with ass increasing food...

...until "the city i shall return; watch out" tomorrow...

P.S...the frozen hot chocolate from Serendipity was AMAZING...& there was so much more i wanted to eat, but i couldn't because i was by myself & i thought that would be slightly inappropriate...

so i am wearing my old jeans & i can breathe...

day 108...

**disclaimer 430...the more your body is in pain the more muscles you worked (screw the people that said after working out you should not be sore, what the hell do they know, they are probably already in shape or skinny)

...well i have been in new york 3 days now & i honestly can say i am a little exhausted...you walk a lot (and some times i get turned around so i mean i walk more than the average person, like today i made a huge square because i was walking the wrong way)...not a bad thing at all; first, great exercise & second, because i am eating my face off, so it helps maintain my weight (ohh ps i also have on my old jeans i stopped wearing because i could not breathe & i had a muffin top & they are totally comfortable; however i also tried on a pair of pants from one of those tart stores & could barley pull them up, i guess it kind of balances out & also reminds me that i have work to do)...

over the past 24 hours i tacked on to my ass, sushi (not crazy bad for you), a corn beef sandwich from Katz's (which was phenomenal, i mean the corn beef melted in my mouth & there was no need to even chew), a bowl of cereal (lame for nyc, but cereal can stand on its own to feet any where), a white mocha (though i did non-fat and 2 pumps of white mocha), a chai latte (also non-fat) and a butter croissant (now i know croissants are not good for you however this place which is located on Lexington Ave; right near Grand Central Station, called Crumbs had the most amazing looking desserts, I mean the cupcakes looked amazing as well as the muffins and the bars, I might go back to just taste them & then affix them to my ass)...i also went to a diner (hell i am on the east coast you have to go to a diner), it was called City Limits & i had the corn beef hash with poached eggs and hollandaise sauce, it had the most divine flavor, i am sad to say i did not finish it (my brother nick would be sad/disappointed he did not even get to taste it nor get to finish mine)...but i have been walking a lot so that is helpful & currently as we speak (or rather as i blog) i am sitting in the prettiest library ever, the New York Public Library (corner of 5th & 42nd next to Bryant Park{new york's fashion week takes place there}) it is a breathtaking sight & i have never been in this library before & i am in awe...& afterwards i am going to venture to Serendipity (quaint little cafe/restaurant; 60th between 2nd & 3rd, close to the east side of central park) to partake in a frozen hot chocolate (they are supposed to be amazing & i always wanted to go there ever sense the movie Serendipity)....ohh the adventures of a fat bridesmaid...

day 108...the jeans are on; but the pants would not even go past my knees...what are you going to do...east some more; well i am at least...

...until "the adventure" continues....

being in new york = lots of walking = maybe not a fat bridesmaid....

day 106 -- 107....

**disclaimer 765...even though being in the city provides lots of food it also provides lots of exercise...maybe a balance, i guess it just depends on how much you eat...

...ok, so i should have sent out a warning signal...i am in the city or new york city (the city i love), and will be here for 2 weeks...so once again i will ask for you to be patient...so it might become Operation...N.M.F.B meets the city as opposed to Operating N.M.F.B one day at time struggle not to eat her face off...and this journey will begin and end with me eating my way through the city; however I will also be walking the majority of the way...so i am hoping my ass does not expand too much...it is hard being in a city where every 2 feet is a restaurant with a different type of cuisine...will power will have to sustain because i am not going to lie, the points will not...i am trying to be mindful with my eating and controlling what i can when i can & then I shall go from there....so i ask for you to be patient...i will post as often as i can & update you on my status of Oper. N.M.F.B takes on New York...

the first couple days in the city were good nothing too crazy...probably drank more adult beverages than i ever have in the past 2 years...officially, i am a light weight, good for whomever is buying the drinks, bad for the bartender & good for me because the calories will not add up...on sunday we went to a place in brooklyn (williamsburg) and i had chicken sausage with amazing sauerkraut, and then a dark chocolate candy bar to die for...yesterday i ate dumplings right off of 32nd street in little korea; which were so good, & for the first time i had a vegetarian dumpling, green outside so i was a little weary at first, but boy did my stomach smile at the end of that meal...and then i finished off the day at a brazilian restaurant, where i had a steak (their seasoned steak with white rice, amazing flavor)...and it was good; so not too bad & between all these eatings i walked pretty much every where along with my 2 bags which are like carrying dumb bells...& as for today i started off with a iced soy chai & will be venturing to Katz (a famous deli in nyc; kind of btwn the east village & little italy) where i will be enjoying a nice deli sandwich; probably corn beef and something...Cheers!!!

day 106 - 107...i have best followers ever; & i applaud you for taking this adventure with me & my ass as we walk/eat through NYC...

until "more walking & eating tomorrow...

i am in new york & eating (go figure)

104-105 days...

disclaimer 298...you only live once might as well eat your way through....

i am in new york and will add more to that...so of course i eating which will then be a direct result to my ass doubling in size...however i have more to add, again i ask for your patience, & we will talk soon...

ps i weighed myself yesterday before i left and i am the same, so that is a good thing, & hopefully that will not increase over the course of the next two weeks....

until tonight "hopefully"

so what do you do when you can't count points?

day 103...

**disclaimer 592...when going out to dinner or a party, try not to be too concerned with points or dieting, 1st no one gives 2 shits, they want to enjoy their food, without thinking about how many calories are in the food & if you are there counting or watching what you are eating it will definitely mess that up...& 2nd what the hell is the point of going out and having a good time if you can't eat...

...did i mention that i like to eat out a lot (i know i LIKE to eat, but i am talking about going out and eating)...so how do you the diet and do the thing you like to do the most...

1. an obvious way, is that you cut way back, you can actually reduce your ass by half if you stay at home and eat

2. search for healthier items on the menu...salads & fruits can be helpful & tastefully delicious;)...

3. put the sauces/dressings on the side, so you can use a smaller amount

4. stay away from anything fried (hard one for me, because i love french

fries)

5. remember you don't have to eat the whole damn thing (wrap it up & take it home or leave it...so you don't have to indulge 2 days in a row)

...& then some times when you go out and completely blow it...do not fret too much...the next day is a new diet day....

103 days gone by...& on this day i went out to eat; had a burger but did not eat all the fries...

...until "no more eating out" sunday (well we will try)...