Accessories...please read on..

Accessories-- NO MATTER what size you are, they fit...so if you are a 2, a 12, or a 22, they fit and usually look fabulous...so buy them if you are trying to lose weight or if you are gaining...there is no losing in this situation...

Bring on the rings, the bags, the scarves, the hats, the shoes...anything that doesn't require a size of your ass...& rock the sh*t out it...

i am just sayin', why do you think they were created, so you could feel good about yourself wearing the same blingin' ring the skinny B*otch, is wearing next to you!

Enough Said, now what are you waiting for...get yourself some....

the little moments...

those little moments, that allow a smile to creep on your face & your heart to soar, and carries us to the next moment, providing hope that someone else can see what they saw...

...so at work today, a man who was dropping off supplies came in and we started chatting...he turns to the other woman i work with and says, "she has the most beautiful smile." which instantly makes me smile...and that was that...the little moments, ahh that is what makes life sweeter.

i am not sure where this is going but.....

...life seems to be in a weird place at 29...if you would have asked me 10 yrs ago, what my life would be like at 29, i would have said...a job, maybe engaged or married, maybe even married with kids...i don't even know if i would even have an answer.

i am living though, and i am not sure where this is going to take me, but it is taking me as long as i am ready to go with it...it will keep going...i will have this new chapter ready to go to the next decade and even if you ask me what the next 10 yrs holds for me, i might make some assumptions but i can't tell you...b/c life isn't about knowing every step, it is more about living for what the next step can be...& realizing that the next step may not be what you expect but at the same time it could be one hell of ride!

what do you know...

what do you know, a whole lot of nothin'...or so i thought....

i totally think of myself as being in the know...however i think it is better some times if you are in the not know, then you are less likely to get hurt....

as we grow older we learn lots of things, and some of those things are things we wish we would have never learned. is life better that much easier if you don't know or are you being chicken sh*t if you live in la la land of the not knowing. i don't know i am torn, there are days when i wish i didn't know something, but then there are days i cannot get enough information....i know i am speaking in the vague sense, you are in the unknown....ultimately you are going to find out, which you wouldn't rather know before it is too late...hmmmm?

"girl walks into the room, everyone is staring at her....she can't figure out what is going on, she frantically looks up and down at herself, nothing is out of place....she does the subtle wipe of the nose and then looks at one of her friends for the booger & teeth check....all good...all of sudden her best friend, the man of her dreams, her everything, slowly approaches her and gets down on one knee, & says, "will do the me the honor, of being my person for the rest of my life"...she looks down, "wouldn't want to be anybody else's person"..." she was better off not knowing, to get the surprise of her life....

the quest to expand my brain...

well one should never stop learning...or at least that is what i keep telling myself...i actually like learning (if you would have told me that 6 years ago i would have said no freakin way; well just as life has a way of surprising us; here is another one)...it is fun to learn when you are interested in a topic...i am taking classes to become an interpreter for the Deaf..i should have listened to my mom (another lesson--another blog post later) & finished my degree a way long long time ago but i am now doing it so chuck one up to not listening to a much smarter woman than me :)...not so smart...

well i also decided it would be great to learn other things as i get older...i have decided my next language to learn is Arabic, not bc i want to be some interpreter for the government...but bc when i go into a Middle Eastern bakery and everybody and their mother are speaking Arabic i know what the hell they are talking about and can order in Arabic...then i don't have to look like the white girl who has no idea...it is kind of like street credit...

& i have always always wanted to learn, my grandparents were both from Lebanon, and both spoke it fluently but that is where it stopped...my mom understands it but cannot speak it (back when she was growing up, not the coolest to be different--think bringing pita bread sandwich to school rather than sandwich on white bread, not the coolest kid, then)...& she wishes she would have kept using it, but didn't....anywho...now my turn and I want to learn!

not just a year to turn a decade but...

the year of discovery, watch out...

as i go along this year i am hoping that i continue to discover myself...i know me, but really get to know me...for instance, i love leban & for all those readers out there who have no idea what that is, it is equivalent to sour cream, it is so so amazing...i think it should go on everything...my mom's leban is to die for & i cannot get enough of it...

i also believe very strongly that we are all here for a purpose & we may not realize what that purpose is as of yet...but we are here...and it may not even be for one, it may be several and you might never discover it; but somebody else may have been affected by it...do you have a purpose?

let us begin

...i first started blogging, i did it for some random reason, & then i changed to blog about my fat ass & weddings...well weddings almost happened & my ass (to my dismay) stayed the same size...

so what now, what else could i possibly spout out of my mouth...well its simple, life, not just normal everyday life, but the year of life before you start a new decade...yes i am 29 & the next number will be (for all you math genius) it is 3-0...eeek or not...

which then leads me to my next observation why not share in all my glory of being 29...of still being in my 20's & bask in all its glory...& anything goes, (so for those that are still out there), ready, set, here, we go...

hmmm....hump day ohh how i missed thee....

well....we are off to an ok start...i have stumbled a little, but i got right back up on the ole' diet bicycle (my bicycle still has training wheels, it has to support my ass)...the first 2 days i did a very good job of holding down my points...then comes up to hump day...which has a way of rearing its ugly head...but overall i did not do too bad...so here we are...the thing is i need to add in is exercise, i know i have been saying that for almost a year since i quit exercising...the first 2 weeks are the hardest...if you get into a rhythm then you feel bad (well most people feel bad when they don't stick to it)...i need to get up earlier, but with the winter, well any time i hate getting up earlier than i have to...so i need to find other solutions...& then when i get off of work, i do not feel like exercising...hey i am full of fat & excuses...hence the reason for the fatness...work in progress...:)...what you are going to do with fat kid...if you can't diet & exercise, might as well eat & be merry:)

disclaimer 4201...psyche yourself out with food, make it the enemy, do anything you can to scare yourself away from putting the donut, the cookie, the piece of candy or 2 in your mouth...above all when it comes to your mouth keep it shut, or at least almost so you can only slip small amounts in...(yes the fat kid is a thinker;)

Round 2 & in this corner....the fat bridesmaid...

weigh day (aww remember those days when we actually talked about weight)...well i am going to be honest i was down -18lbs. before the holidays, but after we had a visit from ole' father christmas and the festivities...i gained 3 lbs...which is ok b/c since i quit dieting to gain only 3 lbs. is not too bad...i actually should be doing the jig while eating a cookie or 2 (one thing is for sure a fat kid will never ever change)...so currently we are down -15.5 lbs. & now the real work begins...here are some numbers for you...

we are t-minus 5 months away from wedding 1

& t-minus about 8 months away from wedding 2...

which do you hear that loud & clear this fat ass has to fit into 2 dresses...i know you are thinking that is quite some time to lose the weight, lest i remind you who is writing this blog, it took me how long to lose 15.5 lbs...& also one other reminder or shall i say 1 word...can we say DRESSES...you know those dress makers have to allow 5 months in advance to make the damn dresses so check out the real numbers...EEEEEKKKKKK!!!!

March 1 --- dress 1 needs to be ordered & April 1 --- dress 2 needs to be ordered...so that leaves 2/3 months of diet time...not a whole lot especially when you are diet flunky...so time to hunker down (i think that i learned i picked that word up from marisa & her west virginia crew)...

well if you haven't figured it out...i am back...and hungrier than ever (literally;)