i can never come up with title for sunday, which means it leads to this title...yep i got nothin'

day 48 & forty-nine....

**disclaimer 21...where do girl scout cookies fit into your diet...would that be the dairy group??

...first things first, tomorrow will be weigh day & we will find out if i have lost the 2 pounds i had gained after the "eatfest"...which fingers crossed, i have...& i did have a pretty decent weekend, except for the last couple hours tonight where i almost ate a whole box of girl scout cookies (caramel delights (or whatever the hell they are called now) are so freakin' amazing...i would break my diet 100 times over for those cookies....mmmm goooood!) but other than that i kept it together, ohh shit, i did have 3 other cookies earlier too (well technically i was only going to eat 2 but i had to eat another for the sake of the group; yes, yet again a fat kid can justify anything, especially when it comes to cookies)...ok other than that i think;) i did good...so tomorrow will tell us which side of the scale my ass will fall on, the upside or the downside....

...also i was thinking & i need your help, so leave a shout out in the comment section...should i stop doing an entry everyday & do one every other day...i do not want to get too redundant, i can only express my displeasure in my ass & my eating habits in so many ways...let me know what you think...thanks, much appreciated...

...day forty-eight & 49...once again let us give props to the ever so infamous girl scout cookies...love them....hopefully they did not tip the scale in the wrong direction...that is where i need you again for your thoughts, prayers, & positive thoughts...keep them coming....& p.s. don't forget to leave me a comment about your thoughts...

....until weigh day tomorrow...

i'm still fat, i'm uber tired, & i'm going to bed...

47 days...

**disclaimer 32...another great exercise for you to practice on a regular basis & you will not mind doing it for lots of hours, it is SLEEP...plenty of rest only ensures you have plenty of energy;)

friday, friday, friday....a whole lot of nothin' on a friday...i ate some food, not a lot...did not exercise, almost took a nap & then went to disney on ice...which believe it or not was actually entertaining & i laughed a lot, (laughing = another great exercise) because my niece & nephew were havin' lots of fun & crackin' me up...so that is enough for a friday & for the week....i'm callin' it a day, so should you, start your exercise right now & go to bed....

...47th day...not sure about my points i got too tired and stopped counting them....yeah that's right, not only just a fat kid but a lazy fat kid;)...

....until a restful Sunday....

let's talk food...or not

day forty-six...

**disclaimer 64....face the food head on & say screw you i'm not going to let you ruin my ass, we are talking to the cookies not the carrots, people...

...here is what i am thinking (yes, sometimes i do think, it is a shocker but it can happen)...that even though i am on this extremely strict diet & i never ever slip up (well that statement is kind of true) that the problem is not right now...it is after when i become super skinny & pose as the sports illustrated swimsuit cover model (you can laugh, i am) & do not have to count every point & i can eat a cookie or 2, maybe some french fries, a box of doughnuts (maybe not a box but a few), a double scoop of ice cream...what happens when i go back into the real food world???....here is the thing, i am not sure; however i am thinking ahead of the game (which is a first for me, & it could quite possibly be the only thought, so might as well get it out of the way now) & i am hoping the way i approach food changes, instead of get in my belly, maybe rather 1/2 get into my belly & instead of i should eat 5 cookies maybe stop at 2...the possibilities of my food eating habits changing are endless, but i am hoping that something sticks so as not to find myself in same freakin' spot & wishin' i wasn't the fat ass bridesmaid or just a fat ass....

....which really this whole post is about is realizing another freakin' good reason to lose & KEEP off the weight...which is if you do not want to become a fat ass yet again you will think twice about puttin' that piece of pie in your mouth (maybe that should have been the title for today:)...

...forty sixth day...23.5 points & a very strange post (sometimes when i think too hard it comes off very strange, what can i say it doesn't happen that often)

...until a more normal tomorrow...

7 hump days & counting...

45th day = 7 hump days...

**disclaimer 23...cereal for dinner is good for you, it is A) part of the grain group & B) when you add the milk, part of the dairy group...throw in some fruit and you have now hit more than half of the food groups...(p.s. cena you are welcome)

today is my 7th hump day & i did not have too much going on today (literally; being semi-retired you got some time on your hands)...one thing i did decide on this day of rest;) was that i have to get my butt in gear in the avenue of exercising & get back on track...which i plan to do, not sure if it will happen this week but it is on my calendar for next week...hey at least i have a plan;)...and the other NOT exciting thing happened to me was i stuck to the points (well i went over by 1 but it was an avocado, it has fat but the good fat, at least that is what people tell me)...

...day 45 & not much to report on this hump of a day (i know, contain yourself, i am hysterical)...

...26 points...but there was some good fat in there...

...until a more exciting tomorrow...

at some point you have to stop eating...

day 44...

**disclaimer 34...God created your body and gave you a stomach to fill with food but He also allowed for that stomach to send a signal to your brain to say, "I'm full, stop eating fat ass"....take a hint...

...at this very moment i am full, almost to the point of fat breathing...not a good sign when you are on a diet...especially on weight watchers, because it is designed to help you not get to that point of overeating...i had book club tonight & we went to a Greek restaurant (My Big Fat Greek Cusina) with very good food & generous portion sizes...i did not even eat the pita that my sandwich came in & in fact (be ready to be surprised) i left the majority of my french fries on the plate....of course after i left i did get a milkshake (united dairy farmers blue moo cookie dough...amazing; remember i said i am trying to be a pseudo skinny kid, but being a true fat kid i will still continue to tell you where to get your grub on;)...but i only finished a 1/4 of the shake...wtf? maybe my stomach is shrinking & getting used to not eating everything on the plate...or maybe it is still full from the weekend...hmmmm???

side, short story...one of my customers, a really nice lady, always jokes with me...she commented on me looking a little more svelte...much appreciated and it felt good, that a random (i.e. not being related or knowing me uber well) said something, so i guess i am making progress...

...44th day...i left the points at the greek restaurant....& did i mention i need to get my ass exercising regularly again...well that's a project for another day...

...until tomorrow...

2 days of "EATFEST" = 2 gained pounds...

43rd day of fun filled dieting...and the start of week 7...& did i mention weigh day, ugghhh;(...

**disclaimer 67....after one too many "eatfests"...it will find a way to catch up to your ass & attach it ever so slightly in the most obvious places;)

a couple things to cover...somehow my ass managed to gain back 2 pounds this week/weekend, i don't know how the hell that happened, however i am suspecting the 2 all day "EaTfEsTs" had something to do with it...so i am +2 for this week, but not totally discouraged, just a minor setback..& besides all the other close calls i have had where i have eaten my face & then had to face the scale...so my ass was bound to catch up with me at some point....hence the reason i gave myself a year & half to do Operation...N.M.F.B...

second, thanks for the comments i appreciate it, please feel free to comment any time...i welcome the comments, helpful advice, & anything else you can serve up (except food) that will help parts of my body to decrease in size...

3rd of all...well there was a 3rd of all & now i have forgot...the weight i have lost must have come straight from my brain and the rest from my boobs...the 2 places where i do not need to lose anything...

...week 7...day 43...+2 pounds (still thinking positive) & hopefully no more "eatfests" & 25 points for monday...

...until tomorrow...

every sunday i find myself in a familiar place...without a title & facing the scale...

41 & 42 days have gone by....

**disclaimer 65...if i haven't said it before i am saying it now (or again)....surround yourself with awesome supportive family...they always make you feel wonderful:):)

...did i mention on friday, that this weekend would be filled with parties, or in my family, "eatfests"...before the "eatfests" even take place my dad makes me an amazing breakfast, we are not talking a bowl of granola, a half of grapefruit and a whole grain low fat muffin...nope he makes french toast bread add the fat, lathered with butter and syrup and he never goes small, he usually puts on 2 -3 slices and then asks if you are still hungry....and before you can even say no, he gives you another 2 pieces (i am not saying he twists my arm, fat kids blame others for eating)....so that was breakfast...& i am pretty sure there was some snacking before the actual "eatfest"...

"Eatfest" 1...my cousin had a baby & his mom wanted to have all of us up to see the baby and of course what else eat (yes, we were bred from lebanese"boaters" that one of their many talents was to feed their families, & the tradition continues)...so my cousin's spread consisted of pizza (like 5 different kinds), tortellinis, plain noodles, veggie marinara sauce (i'm not done), garlic bread, salad, chicken tenders, and i forgot all the appetizers that came before the meal...let's just say it was a kitchen table full of apps...then for dessert she had fruit (healthy:), cheesecake (amazing), cookies (2 kinds), chocolate cake (at least i avoided this treat), & lebanese cookies (another thing that escaped my mouth)...did i mention we not only cook for (well i don't) our families but we LOVE to eat as well...so the food was good, the company was even better & the points were probably in the range of 500 - 1500 points....

day 2 of the "Eatfest"... consisted of my niece's 5th birthday party...my sister in law also a woman coming from a lebanese family also provides an "eatfest"...so we eat fried fish (2 kinds), french fries, salad (nope that's not all), mejudra (a lebanese lentil dish, which i do not know how to spell), green beans, noodles and ohh yes, the appetizers yet again...& then the dessert my mom's wonderful cake (which i am not even a cake person, but it was so so good) & ice cream, chocolate covered raisins, m&m's, & fruit...we try to throw in healthy food here & there; however it does not always end up in my mouth...& by my own free will i had to have a netty's freeze earlier in the day (a local ice cream joint in toledo, that i think just reopened from being closed during the winter, so technically i had to get some to a) support the local economy & b) jump start spring & say good bye to winter, it was my patriotic duty, fat kids can justify anything)...so everyone understand the 2 day "eatfest", good because my stomach, my thighs & of course my ass does & will thank me tomorrow as i get on the scale...

days 41 & 42...i ate enough points to last me a couple of weeks thanks to the "eatfest"...

..until tomorrow...weigh day...

why should you be on the skinnier side???

DAY 40...

**disclaimer 32...surround yourself with encouraging & positive friends...the ones that are with you when you are eating donuts, the ones that hand you a tissue when you can't zip your jeans up, & those that will say, "damn girl, your ass looks good!" when you lose a few...

...friday was definitely an experience not a good one in the points department...but overall i found a new reason to lose weight...while at my brother's house i was watching a scary movie and the girl in the movie could not fit through the small window because she was too big...& this girl was not a fat girl so what does that say for the girls a little more on the heftier side...so here is the reason...you DON'T want to be that girl stuck in the basement by her psycho adoptive father with no way out but a small window & your ass doesn't fit through & so you have to wait until he passes out from drinking way too much vodka (which we all know he is faking) to walk pass him because that is only way you can grab the keys to the car to escape...but lo' & behold he wakes up, grabs your arm & you are caught once again...this could all have been avoided if you just lost a few pounds & fit through the damn window...and P.S...the doggie door scene in "Scream"...if her hips were a little smaller she would have made it through the door before it crushed her...so just think: your life or that cookie....hmmmm...

...40th day...points....lost track as i shoved the 15th nacho into my mouth...

....until SUNDAY!!!

pictures, pictures, pictures...

39 days done & a gazillion to go...

**disclaimer 43...pose for you body, you know your body, you know how it will look in a picture so position yourself so you look like the model that you are...

...i was thinking you probably want to see more pictures of me (or you are thankful after the few that you saw that i haven't posted any more); however i hate pictures...i tend to look hideous & it seems that the camera can find every ounce of fat even if it appears on my pinky...i will post pictures of me from time to time but more current pictures probably not going to happen until i am a little more svelte (i kind of like that word)...but for you my wonderful readers i am here to share some of my picture taking tips so as not to look like you are wearing a fat suit...

Tip 1...to avoid the double chin slightly lean your chin forward (thank you andrea kanaan)...

tIp 2...horizontals are not the way to go if you are even thinking about taking a picture..

TiP 3...remember when posing with others put them (either 1 but preferably 2 people) in front of you...

tip 4...make sure parts are not sticking out, so don't bend over to stick your bedonkydonk out, even if you think it is cute, it isn't going to film all that well...

TIP 5...stand with an angle or a leg pop..it gives an illusion that parts are smaller;)

...& of course one of the best tips of all, just don't take pictures & thank God for digital because you can just delete your fat ass as soon as you see it...

...dAy 39...i started the day with 10 points & finished it with panera, so not sure how the points ended up....

...until tomorrow...

a snack a day keeps the weight away...(a healthy one that is...)

DaY 38...another hump day!!!

**disclaimer 34...when going out for the day, plan a snack to take with you (and aim for a healthier one, i know, a fun one would be better, but you will thank yourself at the end of the day)...

...today was your average hump day...i woke up, did some pilates (little hard to walk outside when there is no sidewalk and snow for days), but still trying to be active & hopefully it allows for the ass and thighs to become smaller & tighter, not to mention gaining a little more flexibility (i'm flexible now;)...[HA,HA, right, i can't remember the last time i touched my toes without my knees being bent] it just doesn't hurt to become MORE;) flexible, it helps with the old age)...then i had to do a favor for my sister in-law so i had to go dig my car out of the mountain of snow (that in itself is a workout)...i realized i would be gone most of the day & a light went on in my head, (when i am not working it takes a lot for the lights to go inside my head) i should pack some food, & then i won't want to pick at my sister in-laws or heaven forbid stop & get some munchies...well my theory was proven to be right and i did get hungry, but i had my trusty snacks;)...however later on, (i have to thank my sister in-law for having them) i was at my sister in-law's house and wanted to eat more & she luckily cut up some cucumbers for my nephew & being the fat kid that i am my nephew probably had like 2 slices & i ate the rest (thanks George:)

~38th day...25 points...a lot of those points were avocados because i love them & not cucumbers; which i also love because they are 0 points...

...until tomorrow...

extra, extra read all about it...the bridesmaid has done it again...

37th day...pseudo weigh day

...i lost some poundage, i lost some poundage...hey i'm excited...because at first i was like shit, i didn't lose a damn pound, but i went back to the record book and i did...a whole 2 1/2 pounds...gold star for me...

**disclaimer 64...it may be hard (or not depending on who you are) but eat your fruits and vegetables...they fill you up with a fraction of the calories, you might get in other not so healthy foods...

...as i stepped on the scale this morning and saw the number, i freaked out for a moment because i did not think i lost any weight...i was like wow that weekend really blew the diet...at that very moment i knew that i needed to integrate (more vocab; better watch out because by the time i am skinny, these intellectual words will be all over the place) more veggies & fruits in my diet...it would help me lose weight and fill the void when feeling hungry (or at least that is what i would convince my stomach to think)...i even repeated the steps of getting on & off the scale to see if the numbers would change, they didn't...so after realizing the scale was not going to magically change its mind and decrease in numbers & also deciding to eat more veggies and fruits...i had a positive thought, well at least i did not gain, i stayed the same...so i got ready for work...& went to record my weight in my little book of fabulous eating and dieting when i got a little surprise...i actually had lost weight..yipteeskipteedoo...a whole 2 1/2 pounds (give or take with the scale)...i was ecstatic, especially since i thought the fat on my thighs did not disintegrate into the air...so pseudo weigh day turned out good;)

dAy 37...weigh day = -2.5 lbs. & 23 points & i had a salad with veggies on it and an apple (see i am trying to incorporate more of the fruits & veggies into my food repertoire (like that word!) instead of those other food groups of pies, cookies, candies, & chips ...

...until tomorrow....

so what do you think???

day 36...

**disclaimer 99...ask for feedback in regards to your ass, your thighs, your mid section, your arms...but the key is when getting a response look for the facial expressions...the truth is always in the face...

...1st things 1st...today was not weigh day, so nothing to report on that end...but tomorrow is & i am hoping that i will have some fun numbers to pass on to you...other than that it was a typically good day for dieting...so not going to bore with you those details...aren't you lucky;)

...2nd...so after 36 days i am reaching out to my 1.7 billion faithful readers and asking what do you think?...for this rare moment i will shut my fat mouth & let you tell me what you think about how i am doing in regards to Operation N.m.F.b (be kind, remember i'm a recovering fat kid), if you find me annoying, hysterical, boring, or so-so....& be honest i can handle it, i have thick skin or rather there is a lot of fat under my thin skin which = thick skin;)...also if you have some advice or your own stories, please share...it's not all about me or is it;)

36th day & its about you...23 points

...until tomorrow...

so i had a brilliant title & now i got nothin', so this is what you get...

34 & 35 days into the big D.I.E.T...

**disclaimer 23...from experience the calories from a good, quality meal are a million times better than all the other crap you think is good to eat that will use up your points & calories for a day...

here is the good news i cannot weigh myself tomorrow because i do not have a scale at my vacation home (did you not know that i am rich and yes, have a vacation home; well sort of, it's my parents home in beautiful toledo, ohio;) & i know you are asking how is that good news, well i have one extra day (not exactly fair dieting) to align myself with my dieting goals, because this weekend was not exactly on the dieting straight & narrow...so fingers cross when i wake up on tuesday morning, walk towards the scale, take one step, followed by the other and look down in hopes that the number is smaller that what it was last monday...a girl can hope;)

funny story about a true true fat kid...

"think before you become that fat kid"

one morning a young girl went to pick her nieces up for church...while standing in their kitchen the girl looks over and sees a package of ohh so yummy cookies that were calling her name...she quickly opens them up hoping that her nieces do not notice her trying to shove a cookie into her fat face...well even though being a fat kid, she could not eat it fast enough, because her youngest niece, ran over to her, "can i get a cookie too?" "no!" "why not, how come you ate one?" "i needed sugar." the girl is saying this as she is pulling her niece away from the cookies, telling her to put on her coat...her niece trying very hard to get around her to get the cookies, but luckily she gets her out the door with the cookie still in hand...she shoves another 1/4 in her mouth, buckles her niece in and gets the last piece of cookie into her mouth before anyone else notices...now that is some skillful eating...yep can we all guess who the girl is?...a fat kid, yes, especially when you come up with an answer like, "i needed sugar." (true email, i got today, & thank God i read it because i definitely don't want to be that aunt;)

day 34 & 35...good weekend, bad diet...anyone see a pattern...

...until tomorrow...

i just want to eat my face...

dAy 33...

**disclaimer 756...when wanting to eat something you shouldn't...count to 10...breathe in & breathe out...think about it again & then go ahead & eat it (i didn't say all my advice was good)...because you will keeping craving it, so might as well get it over with & just eat it;)

...this week has been all over the map, i have been sick, feeling blah, managed an amazing day of stellar points, a not so stellar day of points & then there was friday...and at some point during today i wanted to eat mahi mahi sliders, sweet potato french fries, hershey kisses (i ate these), an avacado & tomato sandwich (i ate this), mentos (yep ate that too) and a cookie (yeah that's a true fat kid talking)...well the good news i did not eat everything i wanted; however i did come home and probably ate half a bag of riesens (which if you haven't tried these candies, i highly recommend them, not only am i helping you out with your diet, i am giving you food tips;)...so all i know is that this 33rd day of my diet i failed with a big fat (kind of like my ass) "F"...so...

**side note -- maybe i should also work on being more positive about Operation N.M.F.B, nah where is the fun in that...if you can't have a humor about where you are at in your life, than what is the point of actually dieting (something has to get you through & we all know it isn't the carrots & apples)

DaY 33...i stopped counting after the 12th riesen (kidding i didn't eat that many, it was probably half though)...

...until SuNDaY...

and there goes the points...;)

32 days & counting....

**disclaimer 57...save money, lose weight then buy clothes...besides since you are losing all the weight your clothes will look extra baggy = people will compliment you more...yeah i am a thinker....

well i told you, give me a day and i would blow the damn points...and i sort of kind of...hell i did...not crazy but some bad food choices led to me not stickin' to the points...well the positive spin (yeah i can give anything a positive spin, especially when it comes to justifying food) since i had the plague on monday, didn't eat that much tuesday because i was recovering from the plague, & did amazing yesterday, today was ok to get a little wild & crazy with the diet...so i did & the thing that makes me mad is that it was not even that great of a mess up...the object that screwed the diet was a drink from tim hortons...like come on seriously it couldn't be like a milkshake, a couple of cookies, or fried food (everyone knows that everything taste better when its fried;)...looking back it wasn't all that great...all that hype & a let down...**note to self, when choosing to a add a lump or 2 to your middle area or your behind, think & choose wisely, because once its in the only way it comes back out is through a bulge that is now on your thigh that makes it impossible to pull up your jeans...anywho we learn from our mistakes...ok i am done talking about my food choices & i know you are done listening...

day 32...25 pointsish...(my mom sent me my valentine's day gift a.k.a candy, so there may be some extra points in there when i tasted;) the candy; a few times...

...until tomorrow....

to exercise is to move your body, walking back & forth to the fridge definitely counts;)

31st day...

picture this....me exercising & then here it is (well from 2 yrs. ago)...aren't i brilliant having my niece & nephew in the stroller in front of my body, so you only see a portion;)...

**disclaimer 23...you can disguise any part of your body by placing something in front of it...like a small person or persons (your niece or nephew or both of them) to hide your thighs or a large purse to hide a little or lot of your stomach...

Hump Day, we meet again...i'm feelin' better, enjoyin' some food & did some exercising...so i think i am back, thank God....i also think that i am totally adjusting to the points system...i am finding myself not consuming all the points...yeah i say that & watch tomorrow i blow my points out of the water...but as for right now i am going to claim my appetite is shrinking as well as my stomach, that's right, bet your fat ass or mine that i am becoming a new thinner version of me...deep down we all know a fat kid is waiting to come out, but fingers crossed the skinnier kid will want to kick the fat kid's ass at least for the time being...i think that is enough talk for hump day, hell i showed you a picture and got "physical" today, well i mean i described, almost a fight between a fat kid & skinny kid, well not described but mentioned so that counts for exercise right?....kidding i did walk to fridge a couple times to get a glass of water, grab the jelly, i even had to unscrew the top for the jelly and then go put it back & i can't even tell you how many times my arm had to curl (there is an exercise term for you, healthy mind = healthy body) up to my mouth to put the food in...whoa & now i'm spent & going to bed...

day 31...21 points...see banked some of those points...score for me & hell with all the exercise i'm taking part in, its a one way ticket to NO more FAT bridesmaid world...

...until tomorrow...

i am back & skinnier than ever...well sort of...

day 29 & 30...week 5

**disclaimer 45...even though you can lose weight, being sick & not eating is NOT the most fun way to lose weight...

well my apologies for missing yesterday, but i was down for the count with the plague, as i like to call it...i crawled into my bed at 12:30 p.m., monday and pretty much did not move until 9:00 a.m. this morning...my sister in law joked that i should come out to her house to catch the plague & lose a few extra pounds...well i did go out to see my niece & nephews & not to catch it, but it caught me like red handed hooker...let me say i am desperate to lose weight; however not that desperate...on a positive note i did lose an extra 3.5 pounds in a day when i weighed myself this morning (my sister in law may have crazy dieting tips but her theory is right)...but i am not holding on to that weight that fell off my body because at some point i will stop being sick & we can go ahead and reattach it...awesome to weigh 3.5 lbs. lighter; but i think i will stick to the traditional Weight Watchers to lose the rest...less painful;)

Weigh in was monday & i lost 2.5 lbs. which brings me to total of 7 pounds for my first month....still not ready to give you the actual weight in numbers...it is kind of like your driver's license, you keep lying until you hopefully reach your goal of actually being the weight that is printed on the your license...when i reach my driver's license weight we will chat numbers, until then you aren't getting anything out of this fat kid; unless its a donut...though i am excited about my weight loss because "they" say (i know who are "they", probably skinny research doctors, what the hell do they know they are already skinny) that if you lose 2-3 lbs. per week you are more likely to keep it off in the long run...so that is what i am going for & i think i almost accomplished it this month, few bumps but overall not too bad...& i am hoping tomorrow i will get back all my energy, start exercising again & get back to really eating according to plan...& write an invigorating (damn that vocab enhancement, not waist enhancement keeps sneaking up on me;) blog tomorrow as well...

...week 5 -- 29th & 30th day...weigh day -2.5 lbs/week & 7 lbs./month

...points were the least of my worries considering i was ridding the ones i had already ate from days prior & not adding any new ones because of the plague

...until a healthy tomorrow...

while the colts lost, the verdict is still out to see if i am a loser too...(that is in the dieting world)

27th & 28th day...

*disclaimer 90 (not really disclaimers, i just like that word; but more like stellar dieting tips)...treat yourself every once in awhile during the diet process...it helps your body not freak out when it sees a cookie and you actually eat it instead of ignoring it (i didn't say all the time, like 9 out of 10 times, would be good to go ahead and eat the cookie, i am kidding, kind of;)

this weekend went pretty well....i allowed myself to indulge in some foods i normally would omit during the week...i am hoping that tomorrow morning when i wake up i will have lost at least a pound (hell yeah i am praying for more, but i am trying to be realistic)...there is a small pit in my stomach, the part that is surrounded by my fat that is saying, "you haven't lost a damn thing & top of that you gained another chin"...i just know my body...& often times it would like to screw me every which way from sunday & say "ahh take that bulge for eating those milk duds...or here is another dimple for your ass, you'll think twice before eating that cookie again"...our bodies, have a mind of their own, especially mine...haven't you ever looked super skinny in those pants you lie around in the house all day & then as soon as you go to put on the cute dress or svelte top, you notice something odd, & you think damn where did that bump come from, my thighs didn't stick out like that before, man i must be bloated....the truth is simple your body knows when it needs to look good but decides to do the opposite & make you look even shittier than you thought it could...so how do you win....that answer is even simpler, grab a donut, enjoy it, your body will figure it out later...

day 27 & 28...the points were not followed so strictly, but i was responsible (well we hope so considering tomorrow is weigh day & 1 month since i started this crazy operation)

...to all my readers, now 1.2 billion & counting (its like the mcdonalds sign) big positive thoughts & prayers for me, its greatly appreciated...

...until tomorrow (fingers crossed)

friday...fun day...

dAy 26....

**disclaimer 88...get a hobby & do that instead of eating...if it is something you really enjoy doing, and like doing it more than eating it will provide a rest for your mouth & your ass will thank you later;)...

this week has been good...i mean thursday, so far was the only slip up, & it was not even all that bad...so snaps, applauds, whatever you want to throw my way (maybe even a piece of pie or a cookie) on a job well done...in all reality this should have been the 4th week of good dieting but me & my will power had the battle of the century for 2 out of those 4 weeks...which is probably the way the rest of the Operation N.M.F.B will turn out...hence the reason i started a year & half before the actual event...plenty of time to F*** up...& we know it will happen; if you doubt me, just take a gander at last week posts...need i say more...

the nice thing about dieting is when people compliment you or your pants get noticeably bigger (the verdict is still out on my pants, only because i don't wash them, especially jeans, everyday so they tend to stretch out from lack of washing rather than ass shrinking)...but i had a customer say that i looked like i lost weight & instead of saying, "no not really"...i smiled a HUGE smile and said thank you...whether we like to admit or not...the people that see us often enough notice when we lose some weight here & there...& more often than not...they aren't going to say jack shit if you still got the "bedonkdonk"...so next time smile and say thank you...

26th day....22 points...not too shabby...

...until SUNday...

a fat kid eats both an appetizer & a whole meal...& probably will go for dessert

DAY 25...

**disclaimer 254...you CAN wrap it up and take it home...when out to eat, eat half your meal and take it home to your significant other or some family member...

i slept in so that always helps with a day of dieting...it makes it easier to face a day of dieting when you only have half the day of dieting left...i know what you are thinking, that is ingenious...and when you are me & semi-retired you actually have that luxury of a half day of dieting...well, shit i could write a book on my secrets to dieting entitled, "sleep 1/2 the day, keeps your ass away...i could make millions & then take those millions & screw the diet and have the fat just sucked out...

well today was good, i did go out to eat & almost became that fat kid who not only ate spinach & artichoke dip (Betty's/Surly Girl = the best ever spinach & artichoke dip) & then proceeded to eat turkey caesar wrap & broccoli with cheese...good news, put your hands together for me because i didn't...i ate the broccoli with cheese & only 1/2, yes HALF the wrap...i got that sucker wrapped up & took it home to my brother...yippee for me & tonight i settled for not being the fat kid...

day 25...points, not to sure but i know that spinach & artichoke dip = 0 points;)...

...until tomorrow...

another hump in the fat road....

dAy 24....

**disclaimer 77...position yourself away from the food...because we all know that your lazy ass will chose to ignore the hunger pains and just stay seated because it's easier;)

~in honor of hump day & me still dieting my face off, i have an ode to Oper--N.m.F.b...

here we go hump day...

here we go...

i still am fat..for the most part...

...& today was not so bad...

& that makes me glad...

...i stuck to my points....

to give relief to my joints...

...little bites here & there

sometimes gives my ass a scare...

...luckily the day is done &

tomorrow i 'm back for more dieting fun...

(a vivacious dieter --sort of but not really, a english extraordinaire -- not likely, a poet of sorts--Hell NO...but it was sort of amusing;)

day 24...20ish points (remember i said there were bites of food here & there, nothing crazy; that is why i said "-ish")

...until tomorrow....with no poems!

tuesdays are meant to be the good days...

day 23....i added a picture of food because i am always talking about how much i love it...this picture would be from the ohio state fair...if you want to talk about healthy food choices, the ohio state fair would be far from that...the ohio state fair can be summed up in 3 words -- fried food heaven;)

**disclaimer 85...people who bring cookies to a meeting, etc. and then shove them in your face, have only one objective in mind -- how can i arrange for this cookie to attach itself to her ass any faster than if she would take a glue stick and glue it there....

today was meant to be good and it was for the most part....i had an episode with a cookie but we worked ourselves out and only had one when clearly the cookies were screaming "go ahead, eat another or maybe 2 more, we can work it off tomorrow"....i even had the baker sitting next to me who said, "i will feel bad if you don't eat one." i didn't see her thunder thigh, or her double chin, eating one..ohh, maybe that is because she has neither of them, she just bakes the goodies and then shoves them on to poor unfortunate, no self control, helpless dieters (side note -- i love teresa, the woman who made the cookies & know that she was not trying to cripple my efforts in dieting, she was trying to make my stomach happy & it was;)...did i thoroughly enjoy every inch of those cookies, "HELL YES"....they were delicious & every bite was worth it....in the middle of these aforementioned (there goes that vocab, expanding unlike my waistline {wink, wink}) cookies are snickers, it is like finding an awesome surprise at the bottom of the cereal box that you just so happened to eat after 3 sittings;)....but those cookies were good and not at all while i was savoring every moment did i have eater's remorse...i would do it again...

DaY 23...good day, GREAT cooKIE...25 points...

...until tomorrow...

so what do you have to show for yourself...

day 22...week 4...weigh day...:( yeah my ass stayed the same...no change (but i can smile because i did not gain; snaps for me)

**disclaimer 5...bite the bullet...get your ass on the scale...what is the worst that can happen...you break the scale;)

...after this week i will have been on Operation...N.M.F.B for 1 month and yes ladies & gentlemen as of day 22 i have lost a whole 4 1/2 pounds...and if you are a mathematician (like i am mostly certainly not) that would be just a little (a small morsel) more than 1 pound/week, if i keep up my stellar diet habits...we shall see what this week brings; hopefully a 1000% better, otherwise this will be the longest diet ever and i will end up being the fat bridesmaid come july 2011...& you my faithful readers will probably be like seriously, get over eating & diet already...

...monday...so i stopped eating today...well not necessarily, but i did stop eating so that my ass, thighs, & the rest of my body has a fighting chance to stop itself from expanding to a massive degree...the only downfall i had today was that i did not exercise...my bed looked lonely & i needed to stretch & it just so happened to be while laying down sleeping...all in all not a bad start for the week...and if you look at last week monday, i said the same damn thing right before the demise of my diet & the act of eating my kitchen cabinet, the entire buffet, a menu at several restaurants & a few aisles at the grocery store...

so baby i'm back & so are the points(fingers crossed)

...day 22...week 4...weight stayed the same...23 points...

...until tomorrow...