to fat breathe or not to fat breathe; that is the question rather the decision...

day 20 & 21....

**disclaimer 54...when you hit the point of fat breathing there is no point of turning back, so you have 2 choices, keep eating or keep eating...hell you are already fat breathing...

...1/2 of turkey, capicola, avocado on sun-dried tomato sandwich, potato chips, grand chai latte, a peanut butter cookie with a hershey kiss in it, fruit leather, ice cream drumstick, a cupcake shoved into a ice cream cone (which my sister in law & me shoved into our faces before dinner), lamb, french fries glazed with parmesan cheese & butter, 1% milk, a chocolate dessert, a chocolate dessert with pretzels on the bottom, banana cake with chocolate frosting (all those dessert i mentioned are from my older, wonderful sister who has the will power of an ox), a pancake with fruit in it, coffee with cream, 2 eggs; over easy english muffin, green tea latte, a 2nd cupcake shoved in an ice cream cone, tortilla chips, black bean roll ups x 8, 1% milk, chicken drumstick, beef with rice (2 servings, one with sour cream), 2 glasses of coke, an oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, 3 pieces of shortbread with jelly filling, green beans, bread, greek salad....

...yep that is not a menu for a wedding or a birthday party extravaganza...not even the food i wanted or dreamed about eating...that is the food i consumed in the last 48 hours (and there is probably more that my brain ceases to recall)...all of it so so good, however not so beneficial for the body especially when you trying to lose a thigh or 2...good news -- fat breathing only occurred once during those 2 days...but as you learn, once is one too many...so as i place both of my feet on the scale tomorrow i should not be too shocked to see that the needle inches its way back up...but the positive (yes there is a positive)...tomorrow is a new day/week...and i will get back on track...so send up an extra thought or prayer for me, please...

day 19 & 20...i would be scared to count how many points i actually ate...

...until a healthy tomorrow...

i ate a burger, some monkey bread, now weigh me...

day 18 & 19....

**disclaimer 2...do not think of it as all bad, often times their might be some vegetables or healthy shit on that fully dressed burger....

the last 2 days, hell the last week has been a diet's worst nightmare....yesterday night i went to my friend's house for dinner and had a huge bowl of pasta, there were tomatoes in the sauce so that counts for a veggie (wink, wink;) and then i proceeded to eat monkey bread...for all those who know what monkey bread is, you know you can't just stop at one...& for those that don't, imagine pillsbury biscuits rolled into little balls and dipped in butter and then rolled into cinnamon...is your mouth watering yet..my mouth couldn't water because it was filled with these heavenly balls of deliciousness...and its not like i will have one then stop (especially for those of us that are will power challenged), it is like ok i will have the pan....needless to say it was not my brightest nor healthiest moment....

& today (my choice) i went to a restaurant known for their burgers (Thurman Cafe, German Village) with a group of friends...but let us pause for a quick (i mean almost non-existent) moment to give me a round of applause because i SHARED (another person & i) the burger (which had veggies on it & cheese; check that equals 2 food groups;) & did not get fries, had a few chips but no fries for me, hopefully my ass will thank me on monday....let's try to examine the positives here; besides me eating veggies (dripped in the grease and mayo; but a veggie is a veggie;), i ate only half & i did not over eat to the point where i was fat breathing (fat breathing = after you eat so much you breathe from only fat because there is no other place to breathe from {MM})...so i was pleased with myself...now i say this now because i am proud that i showed that much self control...and for those of you reading this, you can remind me that i said that line when i am "MFing" myself monday morning...anywho good food, bad diet = a fat & happy me;) (at least for the moment)

DAYs 18 & 19...the points page is blank not because i ate nothing, but because i chucked the points this week....so...

...until Sunday...

the blue jackets won; but i however did not...

day 16 & 17...

disclaimer 4...cheating never helps anyone & it is a wonder why so many of us do it...that is cheating on a diet;)

~my apologies to all my readers in regards to my delays in posting...i promise to post this week, it just might be a little off with the days & some grouped together...i do not have all access to my computer, so fear not you will still get to hear about Oper...N.M.F.B...

well tuesday night was not terrible but in hindsight i should have not eaten that 2nd chicken tender, the good news was i did not go overboard...do you ever notice that when you get a little wiggle room often you go a little crazy...i do not think i did that but there were some food choices i wish i would have opted out of...i did enjoy myself watching the blue jackets win even though there were no fights, what is the point of hockey if they don't fight...

as for yesterday, just as my week of posting is in the pooper, so are my points...i have had something to do every night this week, so the mornings are decent, i am very attentive to watching what i am eating but then the nights are where we get crazy....yesterday night i had book club, i.e. more food to be eaten...i know what you are thinkin' only eat the good stuff or eat before...but i never want people to feel awkward or make a big deal, like i am not eating so i just eat...but props to me i did not go all the way crazy & like i said i was good before that...i just know next sunday night i will be requesting huge, no gigantic prayers that need to be sent up by me for me & my ass....the main thing is i am not quitting, and this week has been tough but like they say, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger..."

day 16 & 17 = points, who the hell knows...and for the millions of you that i am truly affecting and you die when you can't read my blog, i probably will post tomorrow for thursday & friday...

....until tomorrow or maybe until friday;)....

all in all not too bad...i am not quitting...

DaY 15...week 3...weigh in day...still not low enough to tell you how much i actually weigh (which will not matter anyways because i am still going to lie even when i don't have to;)

**disclaimer 75...when a weigh in occurs....for every piece of clothing, subtract 5 pounds....for example your night shirt and underwear, subtract 5 each, that is a total of 10 pounds...trust me you will be happy with the results, i didn't say i was a diet expert just a resourceful fat kid trying to make it in doggie diet world...

did i mention my scale is not super high tech; however it does its job...so i think i lost a half pound or stayed the same (scale issues) & remember i said i would be ok as long as i did not gain the weight back...i just have to be extra diligent (every time my vocab expands my thighs do not; lucky me;) this week...and so far i am starting off good...but the forecast is lookin' a little sketchy...tomorrow might be a chance of downpours of fattening foods, with a 60% chance of me screwing my ass once again...i am going to the blue jackets game & sitting in a suite, i.e. good food...i know you are thinking don't go...i may be fat but i am not crazy, but i am actually looking forward to having fun & showing lots of self control (well trying to say the least)...and maybe i will surprise everyone and myself & do very well; fat chance but a girl can dream beside i have wednesday through sunday (friday really) to redeem myself...soooo....GO Blue Jackets and bring on the food (i'm kidding;)

day 15....weigh in -.5 pounds and 24 1/2 points...way to start the week...

...until tomorrow.....

...& we find ourselves in a familiar place...

day 13 & 14...

**disclaimer 999...just because it is chicken does not always mean it is healthy...i.e. chicken wings are not the healthiest option of chicken;)

well i find myself sitting on the chair thinking i have to weigh in tomorrow...and then a thought pops in to my head, "ohh shit"...this week was not the greatest in the points department...let us recap...the monday night jersey boy debacle; eating a not so healthy dinner; the friday night escapade of coldstone; the saturday night osu loss chicken wings & fries & lastly the sunday night or rather should i say all day, bad food choice day...so 4 out of the 7 days, the majority of the week, not being on the great side...so tomorrow morning might be a little scary as i go to step on that scale...i think i will be ok if i stay the same but if go completely the other way i might scream...but i am trying to think positive & also i am betting on all those thoughts & prayers that all 2 billion of my wonderful readers and followers will send my way again this week...hey, dieting is all about support & encouragement, & tomorrow will be a big day for not just me but you...so everyone hold your breath...

day 13 & 14...the days of no points...not even a thought of them...

...until tomorrow...fingers crossed...

& at some point you give in & eat the ice cream

DAY...12...

*disclaimer 4...if you do not give in to your cravings every once in awhile, than your cravings will eat you;)...

well today started out normal but finished with a bang...i avoided pizza from fly pie but did not escape the cherry coke that i so so wanted...and then i had a brilliant idea to have ice cream...not just a scoop of vanilla, but yeah that's right from the big dog, no looking back kind of ice cream, coldstone...it was craving & i went ahead and went for it...however snaps for me, because we walked to coldstone; so that has to knock off a few points or not...i had banana carmel crunch which added up to roughly 19.5 points, yes ladies & gentleman, i ate the entire thing & tacked it on to my total for the day...thank God i was good for the rest of the day, well except for that cherry coke...i know that if i did not surrender (i sound like someone who is being held hostage from food) to that craving it would build up until i would explode...ohh well its already in my stomach or attached to my ass, i forget what happens first, BUT it was DAMN GOOD!!!...thank you coldstone for wanting to be a part of my body...

day 12...when you want it...eat it...i blew the points by 17.5, for a grand total of 42.5 points & there was no way i banked that many during the week or the 2 weeks put together...so

....until Sunday...

an apple a day keeps the fat away...

day 11...

*disclaimer...fruits not only are healthy but at certain times they can satisfy your sweet tooth...i didn't say always but sometimes...

today was pretty normal, no extra temptations...i am thinking that maybe i am getting used to my weight watcher meal plan and it seems to be a lifestyle change (wink;)...i say that today but please do not hold me to it tomorrow...we shall see what that brings along with the weekend...i am traveling again this weekend (don't i sound like a well traveled person, that leads an exciting life; don't hold your breath or get jealous, i'm only going to wild & wonderful west virginia, the state reeks of fun;) & going to a sporting event which definitely means not so good food choices...however i have my sister there who will keep me in line, i hope...that is enough for a thursday

DAY 11....24 points & i ate 2 apples today that just so happened to satisfy my sweet tooth;)...

...until tomorrow...

just another hump in the fat road...but with friends...

day 10....we have reached another hump day....

*disclaimer 96...surround yourself with friends, preferably skinnier ones than you...they provide motivation & besides no one wants to be the fat one in the group;)

well all systems were a go...i got back on track in both points & exercising...and i even heard several words of encouragement from friends & co-workers...which is always a good thing because, a) they keep your butt in check, because they ask questions & b) they provide you with positive thoughts, that help you to stay motivated...i used to never want to tell people i am on a diet, usually because i didn't want them asking how things were going, especially when you screw up & had lost a whole lot of nothin' off your ass...& if no one knew it was easier to keep going off the wagon, because you could always rationalize in your head after you ate the doughnut, the piece of pizza, & pop that tomorrow was another day & start all over...SO lesson for hump day -- tell your friends & thank them later...

dAY 10...23 1/2 points & i even managed to bank some points...& post a blog entry almost as exciting as my diet;)...

...until tomorrow...

back to business...

Day 9...the real day 9...

well here we are the 2nd day of week 2 & back on track (kind of)...snaps for me...my mom made me lunch before i left, but she was extremely conscientious (there goes my vocab improving skills:) when making it & it was still good...so all in all not too bad...i did not go for my invigorating walk today, instead i exercised the back of my eyelids...it kind of balanced out because i did stay under my points but did not exercise...whereas yesterday, i most likely went over my points but did have that nice brisk walk...& hopefully tomorrow we will be completely back on track, points & exercise both accounted for...anywho...

DAy 9...24 1/2 points...not too bad, wink wink..

...until tomorrow...

"i wouldn't be more surprised if i woke up with my head sown to the carpet..."

DaY 8 on day 9...

*disclaimer 555...post the pictures of you lookin' on the heavier side...so when people see you, they say, "you look amazing!" & then you will know the real truth of how shitty you actually did look;)....

*disclaimer 45...your definition of fat is your definition...so when you look at this picture, you might think she ain't fat, & although i appreciate it, i am fat for me & that is not fat with "ph"

...there is my picture, & can u believe i was wearing black...pshhh supposed to make you look skinny, my fat ass...

to all my 2 million readers & counting...i apologize for the lack of monday reporting, i went to Jersey Boys, amazing & didn't get back til uber late...so...don't get too excited but for one time & one time only (maybe) you get a 'twofer' today...thank me later...

week 2...day 8

first things first, monday (1/18/09)...was weigh in day and yes, ladies & gentlemen i lost 4 pounds...thank you for your thoughts & prayers on this one...i was a little nervous considering i spent the weekend enjoying my mom's cooking but being strict throughout the week, resisting temptation really paid off...which also helped me in being fired up for this week...as i stepped on to that scale i held my breath & then i was surprised no SHOCKED to see it go in the right direction, yes down:)...so off to start week 2, BRING IT ON...thanks for the words of encouragement, i appreciate it...

dAy 8...points fell a little by the way side, hey i got carried away in Jersey Boys...

...until tomorrow...

its sunday...there goes the points...

DaY 6 & 7...

*disclaimer 99...even though you love your parents, & you cherish your visits...when trying to lose weight stay far far away...

i came home to visit my parents for the weekend and i had every freakin' intention of following my points & being good...well i chucked that after about three hours of being at home...let's just say the food here is at a whole new level & just goood!...needless to say it was not a great couple of days for operation --NMFB...but i am not discouraged the important thing is to break the cycle...and to get through weigh in tomorrow & get my butt back in gear...so all who are reading this (all 1 billion of you), as you get up tomorrow morning, hold a moment of silence & pray for me because i am going to have to get on that scale....

...points shmoints...

...until tomorrow

almost the end of the week...almost

day 5...

*disclaimer 54...taking bites does not always count as "actually" eating the food, so maybe it = no points (Weight Watchers according to danielle)

...i have almost reached the end of week 1 with lots to go...i am severely convinced that if i make it past the first 2 weeks, than i have good chance of making it the whole way with little mishaps...i also decided that i will write only one entry for the weekend & post it on Sunday evening, for all those eager minds reading this & wanting to know;)...

...today was ok, i thought for sure i would screw up big time, but i did not...i had several cravings for lots of things, pop, mahi mahi sliders, chocolate, subs but maintained a safe distance from all of them...but at the end of the night i gave in & had 1 (just 1) baby ruth & it tasted so so good, but i stopped after that, thank God...hopefully when i report on sunday, i have positive report because i going home...which means damn good food...anywho...

...friday, fun day, day 5...24 pointsish...there were some extra bites in there...

...until Sunday....

what to do when there is nothin' to do--EAT!

Day 4--so, so; i added a picture...

*disclaimer 782: i love elephants however i do not want to look like one...so here is a picture to remind of that as i grasp for that cookie;)

...i am not to sure how this will work out, when i have nothing to say...not really i always have something to say...just ask my family...so i will only chat for a minute...as for the "operation" not too too much happened today...i did not work so no temptation was presented; however sometimes when i have nothing to do during the day i tend to eat, but today i made it through without having that problem (i did not wake up until 10:15, so that helps too:)...i did go over my points but i banked 3 yesterday, so yet again i am even...

...DaY 3...28 points, but i am balanced so far for the week...

...until tomorrow....

HuMp DaY...

Day 3...

sometimes getting over the hump is the biggest part & today being wednesday & the 3rd day of operation...no MFB is HuMp DaY...and it almost did not pan out that way...my brilliant brother, the groom (i think the bride & groom are out to get me), decided he wanted to go for wings...i agreed, food getting the better part of me & figured if i blew it today, i could restart tomorrow...before i could feed my hunger, i had to babysit my nephews...well that turned out to be blessing in disguise...because the babysitting went a tad longer and i cancelled the wings outing at least until further notice...so the reason for getting over the hump does not go to my will power but rather to 9 mos. old & a 2 yr. old...

DaY 3...at the top of the hump and sliding down the other side...23 points...

....until tomorrow...

...it was a close one...

Day 2....

disclaimer 595: *bride and groom change date i now have more time to lose my ass...official date july 2, 2011...

today was a close call...first of all the bride, yes my future sister in-law, tried coaxing me into her leftovers, of ohh so sweet bread, (over the course of the year you will find out i have a deep appreciation for bread) and her buttery potatoes & then laughed when i abruptly said no...skinny witch...(yippee for another skinny person added to the family, love her)...

then (did i mention i work in a restaurant, which is like temptation city) one of the cooks made this sandwich, and i seriously considered backing down for the day (remember the viscous cycle) after i took a bite, but thankfully one of my co-workers finished it off after of course i snuck one more small bite...needless to say it was touch and go for awhile...

the rest of the day went relatively smooth, i think; i exercised by walking, very invigorating (i am trying to increase my vocab while decreasing the size of my thighs) especially in the cold...and then came back to my apartment and was planning on doing pilates, but 3 exercises in, my cousin called and decided to exercise my mouth instead, hey at least my mouth wasn't opening & closing from food...and besides while i was on the phone i stared at the pilates video long enough, so in theory i kind of did it...

what can i say; i made it through DaY 2 barely, but did it...24 points (thank God, because i actually screwed up yesterday and blew it by one point), so we are even...

....until tomorrow...

DAY 1 only a billion more to go...

DAY 1 (weigh in--hell no you will not find out that number until it is acceptable to talk about in public, let's just say i ain't no 110)

disclaimer 1 = i love food...i love the way it taste, the way it looks...i just love it!

disclaimer 2 = i am not judgmental nor do i discriminate against people's looks, your body, do what you please...this is solely for my benefit of no longer being a fat bridesmaid...

today was my first day, it is never the first day that gets me its more like when someone says, "want some ice cream, it won't hurt," then i find myself in ice cream heaven and they are all staring at me saying "eat me," & i give in because i don't want them to feel left out & then i say well i already blew that day, might as well eat a cookie or 2...& the vicious cycle continues...

...so day 1 = done, success; didn't blow my points, came right in at the max...(25 points)

....until tomorrow...

Fat & Happy..why not stay that way??

June ?, 2011 the future date of my brother's wedding, i (unofficially) am a bridesmaid, i get to wear the fun dress (up for debate), be a part of the bridal party (fun, fun), & then get to recap it all over & over while looking at wedding pictures...while recapping, i will scream as those pictures will be a constant reminder, of "damn, danielle, why did you eat those 5 donuts or10 cookies 3 days before the big day," or "i thought you were on diet," or "spot the fat bridesmaid."

that is where OPERATION: NO MORE FAT BRIDESMAID comes in...yeah i may not be fat to you & to some i may be overweight, however to me, i am FAT...its ok i have a plan, and i have about 18 months to do it...why blog about it, because for the some random chance someone might read it, you may hold me accountable & ask me when the last time i had a cookie was, or we might bond over eating (not eating), or you might find amusement.

so everyday as i count my points (thanks weight watchers) i will give you a glimpse into my so long fat kid, hello svelte bridesmaid world...enjoy & remember there is a fat kid in all of us, every once in awhile, let them out:)