or rather letting it figure you out...
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” (Albert Einstein)
i am 32 1/2 years old, and hopefully have no where lived half my life...and i would hope that i have figured some things out...although i must say that every time i think i have figured it out, i realize there is a lot more to learn...and that maybe i will never have it figured it all out...maybe that is what life is figuring it out everyday and never having it always figured out...cause when that happens, that could be the point where God says you have figured all you needed to figure out and that is where it ends...maybe that is what makes life interesting the whole idea that you have no idea how to be or to do this thing called life...we all have that unique ability to learn and understand but to never quite have it figured out???
i guess getting older lends a hand in this belief, b/c i think when i was 20-something, i thought i had figured it out...first let me define my "IT" --> it is knowing what you are doing with your life and who are doing it with, if there is such a person, it is knowing where are going tomorrow, where you have been and where you will be going 5 years from this point...it is knowing your goals and your dreams, and going after what you want, it is seeing what is right before you and thinking this is it...it is having it together, wrapped up in a bow, ready for delivery, it is staying the course b/c that is what you know works...
...BUT as each year goes on, i find myself thinking the complete opposite...and that could very well be the point...(or it could also be that i am babbling, b/c that is what i do best :)...the "IT" is not knowing 100% where you are going tomorrow but rather knowing that what you did yesterday to help you learn for tomorrow, so as if to not to repeat the mistakes but rather to relish & repeat the victories...and that today is where you need to be and that should and will be ok for you, to not worry about the 5 minutes or 5 hours from now but live in this moment, b/c no matter what you have no control in what will happen, but you do have control in the living & being in the moments of now...that in 5, 10, 15 or 20 years you have an idea of what your life may look like, but if it appears to be different that can be ok too...it is loving an accepting those people that you happened to have bless your life and knowing/realizing each moment with them is a blessing and that by having them touch your life, you are that much better...it is still about knowing your dreams and goals, but understanding that dreams and goals can change just as each moment passes by, and accepting what is right now for all that is, right now, but realizing that right now will be so different in a few moments...it is being prepared to jump, to dance, to sing, to listen, to do whatever life calls you to do in every moment...it is knowing that it will not always be put together in a nice box with a ribbon, it can for sure come that way but it could also come in a bag, or not even wrapped but knowing that is what life is at the moment, a life God intended to be lived not planned or figured out...a life He wants to be proud of, but more importantly wants you to enjoy...
...maybe i nailed it, or maybe i did not even come close, one thing i do know is that it is better to stop racking my brains to figure it out and let it just play out and the midst of it playing out, let myself be in all of it...
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
(Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul)
