day 11...
it has occurred to me over the past 11 days, many thoughts (yes i have a brain, do you think i just copy this s%$# from a text book)...do to recent events & the passing of a very cool man who was only 48 & realizing that life is precious (i know i said it before, don't worry this a different topic, i most likely will not repeat myself until day 102, if you are lucky)
...WHAT WOULD I DO if i knew this was it, that i had only a few hours, days or weeks before i said my good-bye...no, i am not trying to be all emotional & blah, blah, blah...& so many people ask that question but do you ever really think about what would you really do...i would not spend all my money (S&%$ i have none anyways:) & i would not go to some country or exotic place to bask in the sun...what i would do is...
...spend a moment (a moment is not defined by the actual time that goes by but rather what happens during that time) with some of the people who define my heart...my family -- i have 4 brothers & a sister, 3 sister in laws, 4 nieces, & 3 nephews, and my parents...that is a lot of moments & i would know that we got to spend them together...whether it be to play a game, watch a movie, talk, or just be with each other we would have those moments...
...i would also spend moments with those that have touched my life, my family may have defined my heart but i have many who have left their footprints on it...so many thank you's i would want to say, sorry's, & so many moments of emotion...
...food & eat = enough said...my fat a&% will enjoy every meal & then some probably to the point of fat breathing...
...Carey, OH -- sit one last time, & pray that someone discovers the peace, joy, faith & so many other feelings it has left me...
...dance, to dance as if it is my last moment (well it is:)...
...pick up a pen & grab my book & finish my story...write the letters that needed to be written, the cards that needed to signed, write so when i am no longer there, my voice remains...write my heart <3...
...look up & thank God, b/c the time i spent was wonderful, the people i was blessed with are/were AHH-MAZING....& for all the experiences that made me; ME...
...love -- tell that one person that they touched my heart in a way that i didn't think was possible...that they may have not known it but they allowed me to believe that hope in love was possible & that being a part of my life i could know what is to like & love a person...& most importantly thank them...
...say Good-Bye, rather i will see ya around & then throw the BEST damn going way party with all my family, friends, & quite possibly some randoms...(WHY NOT)...
if you knew that this was it, what would you do?
memory eternal BJ 1.10.11
I would go on a trip with my family. Just like you said, those little moments are what fills your heart. Some of my greatest memories are experiencing new things with those that I love and fillin the gaps in between like playing cards on a rainy day or road trips and trying to keep each other awake. I think my mom really understands how healing traveling with one another can be ... She has always told us that when she dies, my brothers and sister and I are instructed to take a trip around the united states and spread her ashes at the 4 corners ( kind of) which also happen to be her favorite places - new York city, key west, San francisco and Washington ( washingtons more of a filler than a favorite) so even though I'm focusing on my moms last days... I'm looking forward to that trip and wishing it was something we could do for no reason at all :)
ReplyDeleteyou are absolutely correct...love it...
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