2nd, am i already losing it...or already in love....hmmm

day 2...

well..."they" (whoever they are, does anybody really know) say that if you do anything for 2 weeks straight you can maintain that routine of behavior...well i am two freakin' days into my new 30-ish lifestyle and i was like what the hell am i going to say today about the becoming of my gracious age...so here is day freakin' 2 of the land of 30....

i am single have been for the majority of my life...& i am quite used to it...however at this point in my life i am ready for someone to want to be with me & do things with me (mind out of gutter please); so yes mother, i am ready to venture into the land of love...actually what i truly want is someone to grow old with, who always thinks i am funny even when i am not...who loves me for me despite all that entails...who enjoys my company if we are out in public or even in the privacy of our own home...who knows all the fun & some times not so fun details about me & still wants to hold me at the end of the day...who will do the dishes or clean up the kitchen for me b/c he knows i am too tired to do it...who looks at me at any age & thinks how did i get so lucky & how did my wife get so beautiful...who will hold me tight & is also willing to let me go too...who knows that i am someone who they cannot live with but who also they cannot live without...who challenges me each & everyday to be the best me...who knows that i am their soulmate & is willing to fight for me no matter what & knows that i am their everything...

i want the fairytale....i am a hopeful romantic...i believe that love is a risk but if you are willing to take that risk it can be the greatest adventure of your life, especially when you are with the person you are supposed to be with...

so i know you are looking for (or maybe not) the juicy details, rather my track record, as i will not indulge it all once (hell we have 364 days left & there aren't too many stories, i have to save somethin') but i will let you know i am hot "freakin' mess when it comes to relationships...i can tell anyone, anything but when it comes to my heart i completely shrivel up into a pile of nothin'...i don't know why, but the words can barely come out of my mouth & most of the time i super over think (think annoying girl who doesn't leave guy alone) every action i do...then in the end i usually turn my emotions off or drive people (the boys i like) away...whose ready for a diagnosis??  maybe not that but maybe just maybe in the year of 30, i say what i mean no matter what could happen, & maybe just maybe this year i get him...we shall see, more to come (i know i just ended it like that; so you have to come back tomorrow b/c i could add more; hmmmm...)

to love in 2012, the year of 30!