as george michael explained so well...

...you got to have faith, faith, faith...

day 29...

i was going to have a little discussion on forgiveness but then the spirit threw something at my face...which is see below (the link), & please feel free to read, i love discussions on faith or rather just people's points of view on faith, in fact, i think (insert thought -- there she goes with her thoughts again, will someone please stop her, please) that in order for faith to be strong a discussion & exploration is not just desired but required...faith, like life, is not a spectator sport, in order for you to be good, if not great, one must practice & compete in some great events...other words without the crazy analogies, you got to work FAITH out...that is what God intended we; however, some times forget...

ok so here is the post from a friend in regard to faith, the inspiration behind my post today (hey, even the great ones were inspired once in awhile, i think i fall into the same category)

http://ohflynn.blogspot.com/2012/01/faith.html

FAITH...why yes, i think i will take a go at it...

my 30 year (& counting) journey of faith...

"we live by faith, not by sight," (2 Co. 5:7) that not by seeing but through faith tomorrow will be brighter...

...up until about 3 - 5 years ago, faith was so easy to me it actually was like a huge boulder nothing could move it & it would not break...i just knew God was there, He was taking care of everything, was life perfect, no; but what was; He had a plan & i was moving through it with him by my side...the world could throw anything at me & my faith, God would take me through it...

...then just like anything i was thrown threw a loop, a dear friend's sister got sick, not just had a virus, she was diagnosed with cancer...i remember thinking she was so young...how could this happen, they were good people...what the hell, it would be ok, she would have some surgery, do some treatment, everyone would pray & do what they need to do, and she could/would survive...but her body was tired and the cancer was aggressive and she is now smiling down on her family & friends...my rock of faith was beginning to weaken...<3

...another blow to the old faith, my best friend's mom was diagnosed with cancer & they would remove the tumor, give her chemo & she seemed on the road to recovery...but the tumors kept coming back and she was in pain, & my prayers (my friend's prayers) were not being answered...& the day you pick up the phone & hear your best friend on the other end, crying saying she is no longer, a piece of your heart disappears & another bit of faith is lost...<3

...a third (well there were others, but this took the cake) major blow to my faith, a very very close family friend (more like a family member, another brother to me) was given the diagnosis of cancer as well, i could not believe, so young, so healthy, so AHH-MAZING and he was sick...a match was needed to be found, and people who knew him & those that he didn't stepped up...& they found a match, and then needed another, and it took, only for the cancer to come haunting back, so another transplant & all seemed well but something happened & huge part of my heart shattered into a million pieces & my faith had taken a major blow & i was not sure if it would come back..<3

...i didn't understand why this was happening to such awesome people, and why my friends & family who were just as amazing had to be put through this, how could God do this, why would He do this, & just as my cousin/friend told me, "everything we were taught was being proven wrong, we were taught to pray for those that were sick & all would be fine..." & now everything faith stood for was gone...

...(you are now maybe thinking, where the hell is this going b/c this is not helping with the faith)...so there i was waiting for the next person, or next bad event to happen, living as if God was going to keep pulling the rug out on me & the people i love...so...what next??...well fortunately for us, God puts people in our lives that we need so that we when we can't hear him, they are His voice...& fortunately for me, He put so so many people in my life, that pushed me back towards Him...

...a friend looked at me, & said, "do you honestly believe that God wants people to suffer & make people sick, and wants them to die...no, He is just as pissed that they suffered, that you are now hurting & suffering..." i never thought about it like that, & now i look back and think, i was seeing him so wrong & vengeful, it wasn't why do bad things happen to good people, it is they happen, bad happenings have no boundaries & it completely and utterly sucks, and do i understand it, NO...but i know that God shares in the hurt, in the anger, in the sadness, in the tears just as i do...

...another friend told me, "yes i am so sad that i do not get to have them with me any more, but I was blessed with them for (X) amount of time & what a gift that was...if i can't thank God for their life and the impact that they had on me, than what was their life for...i am a better me b/c i knew them..." & i am a much better person b/c i knew these people (& their families)...

...then there is the saying which my mom says all the time, "everything happens for a reason,"  & we may not know or ever quite understand that reason but there is one, i believe it, definitely don't get it all the time but i believe it...

...also a priest once gave an sermons/eulogy for a girl that passed away in our church, she was still in college & it was a very tragic accident, & God forgive me, but usually this priest stands up to talk my ears shut off; so when he stood up, i remember thinking, ohh here we go...well he gave one of the best sermons i have ever heard, this girl loved service to others, loved her family, loved the outdoors, just a good person...yet her life was cut so short, well, as he so compared it to, a young man a very long time ago that had many of these same qualities that also died at a very young age, that man was Christ...they, just like we did not have enough time with this girl, but while she was with us she did some amazing things, Christ like things, so if anything we remember her being like Christ...WOW, what a comparison, she lived her life (probably unaware) like Christ, & i know those other people just like Christ were taken way too young but they left their mark just like Christ...

...so the question now (i am almost finished, just keep reading)...where am i now with faith, is it back to being a boulder, NOPE...in fact, there are days when i think i might not find it, but i know its there...how do i know b/c those are the days when God sends a little reminder to me that i can't miss (basically, He is screaming at me), i know its there b/c what else is going to pick me up and carry me to the next moment, what else is telling me that this isn't it, that i will survive & life will get better...
& then there are days when i think my faith can move a mountain...

faith isn't & shouldn't be easy...it causes a huge mess & makes no sense most of the time...it is like a roller coaster...scary, thrilling, nauseating, not sure what will happen at the next turn, exciting, but if you get on, it can be one hell of a ride & guess what, you are never alone, there is a seat right next to you, you just have to let Him go with you...

*faith, i love b/c God gave it to us to be whatever we choose it to be, it is not something that has directions, & in fact it is different for all people...
faith is faith & you determine how you define it & how you use it...

"now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (heb. 11:1)

<3 JC