a crush...

day 35...the love saga continues on...or shall i say the crushing begins...

(are you so so glad this is the short month; we might both want to shoot me & shove this love mumbojumbo where the sun doesn't shine)...

...every person has experienced that crush in their lifetime...that person that comes across your path & at that same time your heart skips ten beats, your stomach ties into twenty different knots, and somehow, even though you talk a big game, when they approach you nothing seems to come out of your mouth...all the words are stuck inside & battling to get out; only to meet defeat at every turn...to see this person causes a smile to present itself on your face, & if he actually utters a word, your heart begins to flutter...

...the crazy thing about a crush, you know deep down, it most likely will not happen, but there is a small twang of hope that you hold on to, for the slightest possibility of them glancing your way, maybe noticing you, and then the ultimate dream, them crushing back...

...we all have been there, i would love to meet someone who has never crushed in their life, i mean most of us do it with the unattainable, the actors/actresses/musicians or other people who have no clue we even exist, currently my #1 crush is taye diggs, OMG, google him, & then just stare, can we say ahh-mazing...anywho...

...but real honest to goodness crush, where i know them, & they might know my name...there have been a few...none of them matriculated into a bigger something but they were good crushes...i had the fortune of having 3 older brothers, yes, that means there hot friends, & yes, that means i took full advantage of being "such & such" little sister...they would wave at you in the hallway at high school, talk to you at parties or events...& my friends thought i was cool (boy, did they miss the bus on that one) by association...it was fun, harmless, but ohh so much f'n FUN...here is a little crush run down...


grade school...
my first one, (no i am not giving names, i am an idiot but come on, a little bit of credit)...was of course my brother's friend or rather a kid he hung out with at conventions, this kid would look at me & i would almost collapse, he would say hi to me & i would do the tweenie, giggly thing...never knew it, & it was ok, and now nothin'...

high school...
my crush (b/c of my brother) actually almost turned in to something, but my fear got in the way & i backed off (you will discover that is my m.o., this month as i take you on my love tour, when it comes to those of the opposite sex) and we became friends, actually he would have been my first kiss (we will discuss, & yes in this month, i look at this act as a part of my grand development as i become 30; the people we let in, truly let in, have an extremely important effect on relationships in the future, crap i digress); but i stopped him; but we did meet up in college at a bar, & we did have that very, brief quick moment where our lips meant...& it was over...a crush has the power to do that, where you remember it being so powerful & then if it does come true, the wonderment is gone...

college...
most of the ohio state football team (hey, now what do you think i said, i said CRUSH, not team slut)...(ps this time the props goes to my sister, totally used that one quite a bit to get into a locker room or 2)...no, not the whole team just 2 (maybe 3 but 2 strong ones for sure) in particular, one i mentioned before was a part of a great dare, the accent on that one could make me melt...the other one was just gorgeous, sweet, eyelashes for days & we actually had many interactions, & i am happy to say he dreamt about me (which of course made me want jump over the moon)...but they were what they were, a crush...then there was also a crush (outside of school, that started post high school) & remained pretty prevalent for a while, but as get older, the appeal (& listen it happens/happened to me too) of those people we crush on disappears, and then they become just a person...

post -college/pre-30...
aside from taye diggs (which i almost would really like him to be a reality, so hook a sister up, yes i know he is married, a girl can dream)...maybe one-three, of those that have come in to my so called life, & they were there, i crushed & then i moved on...great thing about crushes, you can change them like you change your underwear, daily...so we shall see what will come up tomorrow...

...to all those who have/had a crush, keep on crushin' that is what makes life all the more interesting...

<3 AS