& tomorrow all systems a go...

days 152-154...

**disclaimer 918...desserts with fruit in them are not always bad for you, right? (at least that is what you can tell yourself as you shove 4 lemon bars in your face)

...so my diet life shall return to normalcy tomorrow...back to some counting of some points, i would also like to go back to my walking & another type of exercise (no, it is not my hand lifting food to my mouth)...it is also the infamous weigh day...so we shall see what my lack of everything has brought me too...

...however before i dive back into diet city...let us talk about what i did eat this past weekend...another party for my family; which means more of that good food...you can sort of think of it is like my last meal (well, we all know that is not true because there is a hell of lot more family & even more food that will come with them)...well they had fried chicken, (yeah, that's good for you) it was so so good...then i had some cheesy potatoes, salad (snaps for me), a half dozen lemon bars (mmm i can't tell you how much i love them)...then ohh wait my cousin, Kim made cookies (not just chocolate chip but mint chocolate chip, heath chip, dark/white chocolate chip, & M&M & i love her cookies & HAD to taste all of them, HAD TO!) & she made me a goodie bag for the ride back home (thank God they made it all the way back to T-town; so then i could eat them today, thanks Kim;)....then for today, i had steak, veggies, noodles & some cookies my sister in-law, Amira made...so it was a cookie weekend, what's a fat kid to do...it's easy, don't fight it, eat them...

152-154 days...get a cookie, eat 1, 2, 3, or 4...wait you are supposed to stop at 1, oops too late now;)

...until "definitely no cookies" tomorrow....

some times all you need is a face lift...

day 151...

**disclaimer 673...a little nip & tuck here and there & BAM!!! what do you have??...a new outfit that fits your new svelte body (geez, what did you think i was talking about)

....so i changed a little bit here and there on the blog...what do you think?; let me know & i can tweak it...just like each & everyday i tweak my body (especially to get into a pair of jeans;)...

...one main important thing that i have realized & i think we all struggle with is a positive body image...as long as you are healthy, your body image & how you view it will be determined by you, no matter the number on the scale...you will never reach happiness with your body until you except your body...i know i went on the big Operation to look 'ohh so hot' for some weddings, but also i was not happy with the grand ole' fatness that i saw in the mirror...but slowly as i lose some weight i am gaining back a positive self image...eventually it will come back fore fold (or if not then i will definitely be looking into some other options, paging Dr. Lyposuction; just kidding;)...not to say its a negative body image now, it is more of displeasing one & i am climbing the mountain (at least i am doing mental exercises;) of gaining my positive self image & it may not be perfect but it is mine & i will own it...just like at this moment i own the size of my ass...

day 151...to the positive vibes that i feel the need to spew all over this week...hell i am not counting might as well be positive...

until "more positivity" tomorrow...

today i woke up & felt skinny; what a feeling...

150 days...

**disclaimer 125...go for a walk with friends...exercising (my version is a short walk) is way better with friends...so make it happen...

...well today i had one of those morning where i felt skinny, it actually even lasted the whole day...you know what i am talking about you wake up & look at yourself in the mirror & don't have the feeling of wanting to puke at the image of yourself in the mirror, then you add some clothes & then say, wow i look pretty good in these clothes...you just have that feeling of today is not going to be a fat day...well for me that was today, & i will not hold my breath for it to carry over into tomorrow but hey, you never know, the skinny gods might shine on you 2 days in a row or hell even a week (i know i am gettin' a little crazy, but i am also a dreamer, and in my dreams i have a smokin' hot body everyday, i mean don't we all;)...however you might as well relish in the skinny moment...it also provides motivation on the days when you want to eat a donut or 2, or when you see the fat girl in the mirror and cannot believe your body has evolved to the thing you are staring at in the mirror...the sun will shine on another day & that will be the day, like today that you feel & look skinny...just hold on to it...

day 150...& damn, good skinny day...

until "another skinny day" tomorrow...

you want points; i'll give you points...

day 149...

**disclaimer 203...remember we talked about wearing black, let us revisit the thought...black pants can do wonders;)

...so today was your typical day of fat...i ate 2 cookies & finished off my chiptole...& i know i sound redundant, but often when it comes to a true fat kid, we tend to have redundancy, like eating a cookie over & over, or sitting on a chair (i.e. not exercising) over & over, forcing yourself into pants over & over...see where i am going, almost bound to happen...; however (remember fat kids tend to have an excuse because we can justify anything) i worked today doing inventory at the memorial tournament & i had to lift several boxes over & over & over...so i added in a little exercise into my life for the day (rather i was forced into exercise)...

....do you think it might be possible for ones' stomach to shrink...i think mine has or do you think it is mind thing...where your body gets used to NOT eating half the cabinet & refrigerator & keeps repeating, "hey there, fatty you don't have to eat everything on the plate." what do you think about my theory...i think that my stomach has gotten used to eating less & my brain is saying, "stop eating," instead of, "you can't not not eat that last bite of sandwich." or it could be the fact that my ass is screaming, "hey there if you don't realize & stop eating, they are going to give you a moomoo as opposed to a bridesmaid dress." hmmmmm, what do you think?

day 149...points, yeah i got nothin' (hoping to return strong next week)

...until "the brain says stop" tomorrow...

it's been awhile did you miss me??

days 145 - 148...week 22 & still fat;)...loss = 0 lbs which equals a total loss of -12.5 lbs...

**disclaimer 976...when you stop seeing progress, take a deep breath, it is ok everyone hits a rough patch, you just have to decide what to change, & that being eating 3 cookies as opposed to 5...

...weigh day...maintained the same weight as the last couple of weeks...so not a whole to report...i am hoping this is my last week that i will have blow off days...& then come next week i will be back on track...i know i say it like every week (well everyday) but i for real mean it...i am thankful that my ass has maintained its plump shape & i have not gained anything but at the same time i am not losing anything either...and i know the reason is i am not doing lots of exercise (hell i am not doing any) but i am not eating a ton but at the same time not making wise decisions & maintaining my points...i need to start the diet motor back up and trim some fat;)...so there it is i suck at life & most importantly suck a big one at the moment when it comes to my diet....

145 - 148 days....week 22...no loss but i stayed the same (can i get a hell yeah, or maybe a "wtf" danielle 3 weeks of nothin...)

...until "positive diet thoughts" tomorrow...

"i don't even feel like eating," says the bridesmaid/m.o.h.& then the crowd is speechless

143 & 144 days...

**my apologies for the lack of a blog post i am working lots of hours & was exhausted yesterday...

disclaimer 130...working and less eating i bet is a good way to maintain & possibly lose weight...

my week has been crazy & for the most part i have been very consistent during the day & then at night not so great...however in my defense (remember a fat kid can defend anything when it comes to food), i have been working an insane amount of hours (i am actually doing the heavy eye lid/head bobbing almost falling asleep as i am typing; so please excuse me for the shortness of this post as well as how blah it might actually be)...i am not eating a lot during the day & what i am eating is decent food & i am hoping that it paves the way into next week where i hope to be back full swing (yes, you can say i that, you won't hold your breath for my dieting skills)...the dinners at night are posing a small problem...been craving a lot of different foods, & like any true fat kid i am satisfying the hunger, 1st the dough balls, 2nd subway sub (veggie, snaps for that), 3rd panera's chicken & wild rice/ roast beef sandwich...not bad food, i mean the dough balls do have cheese on them so it counts for something...i think i am just too tired to think, but however not to eat;)

day 143 & 144...crazy weeks = crazy eating...

...until "keepin' it real with the diet" tomorrow...

day started off good & then ended with dough balls...is anyone a loser here?...hmmm

day 142...

disclaimer 928...the easier it will be for all of us when you realize that some times the cookie calling your name is far greater than you not eating it...

...so i was amazing today...i rocked my diet and then i met the night time & my stomach screamed, "feed me dough balls, feed me dough balls," & after i toiled back & forth for hours (or a whole of 5 minutes, who am i kidding my mind was made up even before i finished saying the words, "may i have some dough balls." & then before i knew it all the dough balls disappeared from my container, if i didn't know any better i would think that i was a magician, but then i recalled that i just happen to hoover them...what's a fat kid to do, the food often disappears when we are around, at least you won't have left overs;)...however i should get points for my efforts right?, i mean i did have an amazing day filled with fun food choices, like a banana, a turkey sandwich, and other food that was totally with in my realm of points...i just shot outside the box with the dough balls (& did i forget to mention the wings too;)...

142 days...& comin' in the home stretch & i blew it out of the freakin' fat park...

...until "a whole day of dieting" tomorrow