& we are tryin to lose the a*% yet again, really...

day 3...(technically it is still today(1/3) in california so i did not miss a day)...

one of my resolutions is 30 before 30, no it is not 30 donuts in one setting or 30 hook ups, it would be removing the 30 rolls that surround different regions of the ole' body...i know, i know what you are thinking, well 2 things you are thinking..."we have to listen her rant & rave about food & her fat face not being able to eat it" or she is going to start this s%&# again only to not finish it & then we have to hear how fat her a*& still is"....

no for real i am doing it, this might be it you know what they say it is that much harder to lose it after you hit 30, things want to linger a little longer (wait i thought that is what they say when you hit 25, why they keep lyin')...so i am going to do it prior to 30 well at least 6 months, and i am going to be dedicated...exercise & diet (probably with the occasional i would rather exercise the REM cycle & that cookie won't hurt me, fallin' off the wagon, thank God for the 6 months kind of exercise & diet) now until the foreseeable future & hopefully by the time August 15th rolls around my a*% will be lookin' good!...

so here we go, day 1 of dieting & exercise, complete...did not too bad, must keep it going for at least 13 more days to form a routine...hold your breath the fat train is leavin'....

2nd, am i already losing it...or already in love....hmmm

day 2...

well..."they" (whoever they are, does anybody really know) say that if you do anything for 2 weeks straight you can maintain that routine of behavior...well i am two freakin' days into my new 30-ish lifestyle and i was like what the hell am i going to say today about the becoming of my gracious age...so here is day freakin' 2 of the land of 30....

i am single have been for the majority of my life...& i am quite used to it...however at this point in my life i am ready for someone to want to be with me & do things with me (mind out of gutter please); so yes mother, i am ready to venture into the land of love...actually what i truly want is someone to grow old with, who always thinks i am funny even when i am not...who loves me for me despite all that entails...who enjoys my company if we are out in public or even in the privacy of our own home...who knows all the fun & some times not so fun details about me & still wants to hold me at the end of the day...who will do the dishes or clean up the kitchen for me b/c he knows i am too tired to do it...who looks at me at any age & thinks how did i get so lucky & how did my wife get so beautiful...who will hold me tight & is also willing to let me go too...who knows that i am someone who they cannot live with but who also they cannot live without...who challenges me each & everyday to be the best me...who knows that i am their soulmate & is willing to fight for me no matter what & knows that i am their everything...

i want the fairytale....i am a hopeful romantic...i believe that love is a risk but if you are willing to take that risk it can be the greatest adventure of your life, especially when you are with the person you are supposed to be with...

so i know you are looking for (or maybe not) the juicy details, rather my track record, as i will not indulge it all once (hell we have 364 days left & there aren't too many stories, i have to save somethin') but i will let you know i am hot "freakin' mess when it comes to relationships...i can tell anyone, anything but when it comes to my heart i completely shrivel up into a pile of nothin'...i don't know why, but the words can barely come out of my mouth & most of the time i super over think (think annoying girl who doesn't leave guy alone) every action i do...then in the end i usually turn my emotions off or drive people (the boys i like) away...whose ready for a diagnosis??  maybe not that but maybe just maybe in the year of 30, i say what i mean no matter what could happen, & maybe just maybe this year i get him...we shall see, more to come (i know i just ended it like that; so you have to come back tomorrow b/c i could add more; hmmmm...)

to love in 2012, the year of 30!

here we go again...& the resolutions of what could be...

intro...to the many days o'30...
&...day 1


as the first official day of 2012...we all think about the ways to improve upon our lives in the upcoming year...1/2 of which end up not coming true because our human nature gives up or rather our lack of will power...then we vow that the next year will be different...so what makes this year different for me & my so called resolution...


well i am turning 30...so i have many resolutions...one of which is blogging everyday, 365 of the many days of me and my 30ness...some of which will be about the days passed, others about the days of now, and then of course those that follow the turning of the gracious age...


so brace yourself...it is going to be a whole lot of me & how i approach the next decade and chapter in my life...


2012 resolutions...which of course you will either hear more about or rather not hear another damn word b/c it failed miserably;)...i think i am going for 10 hoping to aim for accomplishing 1/2...hell if i get more than that i already doing better that i initially thought...


1.  a little blog time, or at least 365 days of it...
2.  30 by 30, by my actual birthday, my ass must be 30 lbs. less than it is that current time frame...
3. along with shrinking the size of the ass & the hips, i will be exercising more, a little bit of walkin' & maybe some yoga; this is a plan in the very early stages...
4.  i must learn how to drink black coffee & wine, i am going to be 30 & it is time to step up the sophistication game :)
5.  letting things go...there is so much that consumes are life, some we can fix others that we just need to walk away & let go...
6.  read more, you will also benefit from this, b/c it could improve the way i write or i will have better stories to tell (i would bet on the latter of this statement)
7.  meet people in the city i live in...its about time i have been there over a year...
8.  cherish every moment (ps. 90:12)
9.  faith & keeping it, holding on to it, it is the essence of who & what we are & without what else is there... 
10.  professional goals...success, which i define as a growth--for my current job, to work towards becoming an interpreter, & write, keep writing until its finished & (maybe put myself out there)...


ok some make sense, some don't, and most of them will unfold and be explained over the next 365 days...here we go, & happy 2012!

Accessories...please read on..

Accessories-- NO MATTER what size you are, they fit...so if you are a 2, a 12, or a 22, they fit and usually look fabulous...so buy them if you are trying to lose weight or if you are gaining...there is no losing in this situation...

Bring on the rings, the bags, the scarves, the hats, the shoes...anything that doesn't require a size of your ass...& rock the sh*t out it...

i am just sayin', why do you think they were created, so you could feel good about yourself wearing the same blingin' ring the skinny B*otch, is wearing next to you!

Enough Said, now what are you waiting for...get yourself some....

the little moments...

those little moments, that allow a smile to creep on your face & your heart to soar, and carries us to the next moment, providing hope that someone else can see what they saw...

...so at work today, a man who was dropping off supplies came in and we started chatting...he turns to the other woman i work with and says, "she has the most beautiful smile." which instantly makes me smile...and that was that...the little moments, ahh that is what makes life sweeter.

i am not sure where this is going but.....

...life seems to be in a weird place at 29...if you would have asked me 10 yrs ago, what my life would be like at 29, i would have said...a job, maybe engaged or married, maybe even married with kids...i don't even know if i would even have an answer.

i am living though, and i am not sure where this is going to take me, but it is taking me as long as i am ready to go with it...it will keep going...i will have this new chapter ready to go to the next decade and even if you ask me what the next 10 yrs holds for me, i might make some assumptions but i can't tell you...b/c life isn't about knowing every step, it is more about living for what the next step can be...& realizing that the next step may not be what you expect but at the same time it could be one hell of ride!

what do you know...

what do you know, a whole lot of nothin'...or so i thought....

i totally think of myself as being in the know...however i think it is better some times if you are in the not know, then you are less likely to get hurt....

as we grow older we learn lots of things, and some of those things are things we wish we would have never learned. is life better that much easier if you don't know or are you being chicken sh*t if you live in la la land of the not knowing. i don't know i am torn, there are days when i wish i didn't know something, but then there are days i cannot get enough information....i know i am speaking in the vague sense, you are in the unknown....ultimately you are going to find out, which you wouldn't rather know before it is too late...hmmmm?

"girl walks into the room, everyone is staring at her....she can't figure out what is going on, she frantically looks up and down at herself, nothing is out of place....she does the subtle wipe of the nose and then looks at one of her friends for the booger & teeth check....all good...all of sudden her best friend, the man of her dreams, her everything, slowly approaches her and gets down on one knee, & says, "will do the me the honor, of being my person for the rest of my life"...she looks down, "wouldn't want to be anybody else's person"..." she was better off not knowing, to get the surprise of her life....