happy memorial day...what did you eat???

day 141...21 weeks....-0 lbs. total loss -12.5 lbs...

...i decided measurements every other week...

disclaimer 321...get motivated...look at your self in the mirror, naked, and you will scare yourself into a diet (well at least it does for me; why do you think i have stuck with this for so long)...

...i changed & made addendums for the blog check it out...(or just notice i inserted the phrase maid of honor in a couple of places)

...so memorial day looks like a fun food fest...i didn't get too crazy so i am proud of myself...started out with a good breakfast at the German Village Coffee Shop (on thurman in german village, way good hash browns) & then ended the day with a cookout with steak (meat food group), corn (veggie food group), fruit (fruit food group, if you couldn't guess that by the word fruit), & black bean, corn, avocado, onions salsa (that hits like 1 or 2 food groups & ps i didn't mention the tortilla chips that went with the salsa), & then cheesecake (that would be the dairy food group right?), so i just ate my way through the food groups, i am sure everybody did, that is what happens when you have such a variety of foods...

...also the wedding conversation came up & it seems to be a common theme that everyone wants to lose a few before the big days...just as we eat together we shall diet together (eating is way more fun; but some times you have to bite the bullet & not eat the cake; you can't have a skinny ass & eat your cake too; wait for the weddings & then it will be raining cake;)...so come on down & join Operation No More Fat Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor, or Operation I can't look at myself in the mirror without cringing, or Operation My Holy Fat Ass, or whatever Operation you need to do...

day 141/21 weeks...weigh day -0 lbs. (hey, i didn't know i was going to be a made of honor until saturday, give a girl a week to really crack down & then watch out, but remember with me, don't hold your breath)...

...until "the crack down begins" tomorrow...

brace yourself!!!

days 138 -140...

disclaimer 439...find your support system, people who you can diet with & complain about your ass & they complain right back & also those who will eat a piece of pie with you & love you for it:)

EXTRA, EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT...OPERATION NO MORE FAT BRIDESMAID BECOMES OPERATION NO MORE FAT BRIDESMAID/MAID OF HONOR...

..see how fast things come up, just like after eating french fries & cookies, bam your ass is huge...

...that is right i am now a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding & my sister got engaged and she begged me to be the made of honor (more like i volunteered for the job; & told her i don't mind at all being the made of honor)...so i no longer can blend in with the other bridesmaid (or actually pray that another bridesmaid will be fatter than me)...i will be standing right next to another skinny ass bride, my sister, & last time i checked the good year blimp, i.e. me in a bridal party dress, is not what you look for as your made of honor...no worries marisa i will be just as hot & svelte for your wedding as i am for nick's...thank God i started in January, well sort of...ehhh, its a process that just kicked in high gear...

...Congrats to Doug & Marisa...lots o' blessings today & always....i will not let you down, & be that fat person in the bridal party...

...officially i need to kick some diet ass...probably not tomorrow because i will be enjoying the memorial day festivities....but there is always tuesday, right?!?!....

...138 -140 days & love the pressure from all these weddings, reunions, parties, my mirror, the scale, the buttons on my clothes & the list goes on...

..until "memorial day" tomorrow...

it started ok & ended up being a little scary...

day 137...

**disclaimer 841...balance your meals...start the day off with a sausage, egg & cheese sandwich & end with ColdStone ice cream cone, some times the balance tips to the unhealthy side...ehhh, what are you going to do;)...

...after my whole escapade about making sure i would be dieting, so i could look fab for my high school reunion...i went ahead & dove off the diet deep end today...i started with a sausage, egg & cheese on english muffin from HangOverEasy (the place i work on neil btwn 10th & 11th in case you forgot)...we have hands down the best sausage that i have ever tasted (i say this b/c normally i am not partial to sausage but there is something about our sausage, it is farm fresh from Ritteberger's, Zanesville, Oh...which is hop skip & jump from columbus, so it is kind of local, but it just has an amazing flavor; do you like my plugs???)...i actually had a discussion with one of the girls, my friend, who works with me...she tried to convince me to get a fruit & yogurt parfait (also amazing, but i wanted meat)...sorry Lynn, you did your best but my stomach was saying, "eat some damn meat"....so after that, i managed to rein in the rest of the day, so yippee for me, BUT (yes there is always a but, especially in my case, haha get it i made a funny;)...my brother had a brilliant idea about getting ice cream, not just a single dip but ColdStone Creamery and all its glory...& i took the bait, actually he held me down and beat me to go with him...so after suffering a beating i had to soothe my pain & eat ice cream (or the real version was he said you want ice cream, & i said, without even contemplating, "yeah") & we walked down to (exercise; snaps for me) & i had cheesecake fantasy, it had fruit in it...there is more of that balance i was talking about..."ehhh, what are you going to do"....

...137 days & at the moment i am failing miserably....

...until "God help me" tomorrow....

it's reunion time, relax it is not me & some food getting together, rather me & some old friends...

day 136...

**disclaimer 592...plan your diet day...don't get crazy...you don't need to say at 12:10 I will be eating 1 banana & a weight watcher meal (that might be borderline obessive)...just think ahead so that later on you aren't thinkin' damn I shouldn't have eaten the cookie & the icecream, now I have no points to actually eat my dinner....

...typical hump day....I meant to tell y'all...I have another motivation to lose the fat that surrounds, rather succombs my whole body...my lovely 10 year reunion from high school is this year (i.e...my high school class coming together to admire what each other has become & then basically gossiping about who looks like shit & has done shit with their lives, well just like I will not be the fat bridesmaid, I prefer also not to be the fat ass classmate, who has let herself go and everyone is like, " damn what happened to her."....we all have been there...

The reunion is in august so I have some time to get myself together & hopefully over the next 3 months, I will lose another 12.5 lbs....which would be amazing...watch out world, here I come (now I just need a job for my hottie body)...

& p.s...I realize the REAL reason for losing the weight is for my health and my own personal image...(right & whoever believes it is just for themselves (& I'm not saying part of the reason isn't for yourself but come on), can go eat a donut and then get into a bathing suit while singing, "I'm every woman" in front of your entire graduating class & the hot guy/girl you have a crush on...any takers?

Ok enough of me I'm out of control...what a hump day...day 136....wow...
...until "controlling myself" tomorrow....

if you are going to drink, might as well have a sex on the beach....

day 135...

**disclaimer 654...stop snacking on shit you could save yourself a few calories as well as prep yourself to eat a good hardy meal later on...

...today was my book club day, so while i was discussing a very awesome book (Caught by harlan coben)....i did not watch my what went into my mouth...but i did however not over eat while i was there...we even had cheryl & company cookies which i love, i love...& i brought one back with me & i DID NOT eat the 2nd one, no need to check your hearing aid, i said it correctly I DID NOT eat it...snaps for me...

& to top off i made myself a sex on the beach (peach schnapps, vodka, cranberry juice, orange juice), not too bad...and it helps you sleep & it has juices in it so that is part of the fruit group & that counts for some good eating or hmmm drinking...

day 135...a day in the life of fruit juices & a diet down the drain...

...until "normal day & no more sex on the beach" tomorrow....

quote of the day "lypo is the best form of dieting; however it does not get rid of cellulite"

134 days...weigh day, -1lbs; total loss = 12.5 lbs.

**disclaimer 201...surround yourself with good friends...if they really care about you they will convince you not to eat the pizza dough balls, or the cookies, or the pie, or the pizza, or the wings, or (you fill in the blank)...

...so today was weigh day and i almost flipped a lid (not that i had the right too, b/c i only counted points twice last week); however i realized losing one pound is better than staying the same & a hell of a lot better than gaining...and i also measured myself...so here is a big leap of faith here are the measurements:

hips: 43 3/4 inches

thigh: 25 1/2 inches

fullest part of my stomach: 39 1/4 inches

actual waist: 31 1/2 inches

(not the 36-24-36, but hey i am work in progress)

today as far as dieting goes it was pretty good, especially because my friend, michelle, convinced me (well she yelled at me several times, "no" that i could not have pizza dough balls; i highly recommend them they are delicious, from the Corner Cookout, on High St in Columbus)...well I opted not to get them due to my friend's better judgement; if she wouldn't have been here i probably would have ate all 6 and then had a cookie, so thank you michelle for saving me & my behind...so as far as today goes, the only reason i succeeded & stayed under my points was because of michelle & her persistence to keep me to my points...so the best friend diet award goes too michelle (if you need a diet friend i have her number & can diet whore her out to you if you want)...

day 134 & the diet rolls on; props to michelle...weigh day -1 lbs....& some other measurements...

...until "fun dieting& no more dough balls" tomorrow...

what a weekend...

days 131-133...

**disclaimer 75...have you ever felt ill (not like puking, etc.; but gross feeling) after you ate something you shouldn't because it basically adds on another ass, do you think that is a hint, as too maybe, hey fat ass next time don't eat the damn food...

...well tomorrow will be a day in the books, not only for weigh day but also for my measurements, so we can hopefully see progress not just on the scale but with the my measurements on the decrease...

...it was a crazy weekend...not a whole lot of crazy eating but enough to stop my progress...i really, really need to get back on track...i think i followed my points like 2 days last week, that is awful, no one can expect results if you aren't actually doing the diet, so i have a lot to work on this week...and it is not going to be easy considering i have book club = food; a couple of coffee meetings = more food (however i plan on keeping my drinks from my coffee places on the non fat side...so it will be interesting...i am just hoping i will get everything back on track & then have lots of positives to pass on to you...

...& ps i ate chipotle this weekend & o.m.g what indigestion, i think my ass via my stomach was telling me hey stupid maybe you shouldn't eat it or you are going to pay...& i learned my lesson...

day 131-133...another weekend down and some food eaten...

...until "measurement day" tomorrow...

...let's talk numbers...

day 130...

**disclaimer 208...be patient with yourself, some times when you are working on a project (i.e...losing a couple, if not all of your asses) it might take awhile and there could be several setbacks...God didn't create the world in 3 days and you will not lose your ass in 3 months (well if you are like me you won't)...but eventually it happens (if not there is always lypo;)

1st...starting next Monday I will be adding new numbers for weigh day....the lovely bride, suggested I do measurements & record it...which will be a big step considering I will have to divulge the actual circumference of my ass, scary thought...so stay tuned...

2nd....I have been on this diet for 130 days, which is a little over 4 months, which is almost 17 weeks...and have lost to this day, only 11.5 lbs...you do the math; however we can't analyze this too long otherwise I might want to cry and eat a box of cookies...I wasn't kidding when I said it would be a long road...

Ok that's enough for today...too many numbers...
Day 130...
....until "forgetting the numbers" tomorrow...

typical...hump day...

day 129...

**disclaimer 543...the color black is your best friend...your ass no matter the size can appear smaller if you wear black...so buy every outfit in black, your ass will thank you...

...hump day....what can i say boring...cereal tasted good...i had 2 bowls...i know i am getting my grains in...and i actually went for a walk today...i was on a mission to take pictures and walked to "The Oval" (big grassy area with sidewalks dividing it in the middle of ohio state; one of the coolest parts of osu)...so that was a positive even though i honestly was not doing it for the exercise (i kind of want to insert after that statement, "that's what she said" & i just did)....

...i know we talked about it before, but another reason to lose weight is that not only do you look better in your clothes; but you feel better in them...that feeling of uncomfortableness & the thoughts of "O.M.G what the hell is that roll doing hanging over my jeans" and "where the hell did that come from, as you stare at the back spillage out of your bra" & "why can't i breathe in these jeans when i sit down, i must have just washed them"...these thoughts and feeling start to disappear...i am not say they are all gone but there is definite progress...& that is the point baby steps (especially for me b/c if we were sprinting through this diet i would have stopped several miles back at the dunkin' donuts and then yet again at coldstone; fat kids need marathons; well maybe 1/2 marathons, were trying to lose weight people not become the next olympic star)...

day 129 & all its randomness...22 points & a walk to top it off...

...until "the jeans fitting" tomorrow...

happy birthday...have a piece of cake or 2...

day 128...

**disclaimer 410...a birthday is a birthday...you are celebrating a person's life...eat a piece of cake (or 2) ;)

my brother's actual birthday was today which = food, food, & more food...so as far as the Operation N.m.f.B goes, it did not go today...i even had 2 pieces of cake today so that for sure put me over the edge & added to my ass even if the steak and potatoes didn't...the good news is the food was good and i have no food regrets what so ever:)...

...besides eating way good food today, i had several compliments come my way; which makes me feel good about the progress i have made & provides the motivation i need to keep going...even though it might be a hard pill to swallow, think about this, if people are complimenting on how great you look now, it is a little bit scary to think about what you looked like before & how big your ass was then....if that thought is not enough to stay motivated to be svelte, i honestly don't know what else is;)

...128 days...good food, good compliments, good times...

...until "a motivational" tomorrow...

let's adjust the points & see what happens...

day 127...week 19...

...weigh day (i almost wish weigh day was on tuesday so i would have a day to get back on track, but i guess you play, you pay); weight loss...not a whole lot; which means 0 pounds lost...so total loss remains -11.5lbs...

**disclaimer 209...when your butt is jiggly, it means you must do exercise so it does not jiggle...

...story from the weekend...(don't worry i am only going to tell my embarrassing part)...so my wonderful niece who has a gift for telling the truth (& i would not change her one bit)...hit my butt...and says, "aunt danielle, your butt jiggles, why does it jiggle?" which i then avoided telling her why it does that & we all know the reason is because aunt danielle participated in eating one too many ice cream sundaes, cookies, & the list goes on & aunt danielle does not do enough or does not do any squats...instead i laughed....

...i have also decided on this weigh day that even though i have not hit my mark according to weight watchers, i am going to cut back on my points...so instead of eating 20-25 points, i will now eat between 18-23 points per day & see how that helps in the weight loss department...i also need to stop the food fests on the weekend & kick up the exercise gear...all three combined, i should be seeing some results...

...week 19...day 127...weigh day = 0 lbs. loss...23 points...

...until "less points & less jiggles" tomorrow

a fat kid's dream...

days 124 -126....

**disclaimer 429...after you lose some weight...treat yourself to a new outfit or get a haircut...your body is subtracting some lumps & bulges, so might as well have the hairdo & clothes to match...

Hmmmm...so this weekend was my mom's birthday & my brother's almost birthday...& with every birthday comes cake or dessert (& when my sister or my mom is involved, there is usually not just one cake/dessert there is 3 or 4, & then comes the issue of "having" to taste all of them; otherwise its rude & we all know we want to know how all of them taste)...so as my sister in law so eloquently put it as the first one rolled out of the kitchen "this is a fat kid's dream"....and she was right...however I would say it's a fat kid's dessert land topped with whip cream... (like candy land you keep hittin' the jackpot going from dessert to dessert)...& tomorrow being weigh day, I know the scale will not be forgiving considering I did have all 3 on top of the amazing dinner...so instead of me talking about diet food let's do a quick recap of what I have been partaking in...after all the title of my blog is Operation No More Fat Bridesmaid...you have to know where I have been (fat ass world) & some times still in (fat ass world & trying to get out it), in order to understand where I would like to be (skinny ass world;but some times hanging out in fat ass world)...hence the word FAT and the 3 outstanding desserts that are present in my stomach or attached to my ass...

The first was the ice cream sandwich cake...yep exactly...layer ice cream sandwiches, cool whip, chocolate pieces and repeat & top it off with chocolate drizzle (mouth watering yet?; it should be)...next there was a brownie cake but the inside was pudding mixed with cool whip and the cake insides....yep also delicious...finally a cookie cake from those cookie companies...& I'm not a frosting person but I love the vanilla frosting....so good...ate all 3; happy weigh day...

Now that I have made you want to go out get dessert...at least I know we are eating it together...

...124 -126 days...dessert r'us...& I will take one of each...
...until "weigh 'omg' day" tomorrow...

my turn to shut my pie hole & your turn to talk...

123 days & counting...

**disclaimer 271...Eat Fruit (often provides the sugar fix you need)

...it is that time again for you to talk and me to say nothing...we all know i am going to say a short something, i can't help myself...i am going to shut my face for five seconds (i might lose a pound)....& let you talk...give me advice on staying svelte, a healthy recipe (my mom or sister can whip it up for me;), what you do for exercise, how you resist the temptation when the food comes a callin', or anything else that i or my fine readers might benefit from...so i expect/HOPE that i have 100 posts from you (in reality; 11 amazing posts)....can't wait....

day 123...23 points...no exciting food today

...until "the adventure continues" tomorrow...

it's sushi time...

day 122....

**disclaimer 597...after you go shopping and buy all the yummy food, keep reminding yourself, that you do not have to go & eat it all in one sitting...

...i was thinking back on how i got myself into this predicament of being a fat ass...i remember thinking that i just had to keep eating...not like i was obsessed with food (well maybe, because i still love it, i just changed the way i looked at food), but for some reason something in my head was saying "it might not be there tomorrow, might as well eat it today", or "everything on your plate should be gone, especially if it was just one bite left", & (after i went to the grocery store) "that looks good, i need to eat that & that & that," & before i knew it half the damn groceries were eaten before i even got home...

...& after being on Operation N.M.F.B...i know that my thinking was crazy...i do not have to finish everything on my plate if i am full or even if i am not full...just stop eating...close my mouth (not only would my ass thank me but so would some people around me;)...& the whole point of going to the grocery store is to have food to eat when you get home, so eating it on the way home, defeats the purpose...& if the food happens to not be there because someone else ate it, it is ok that is one less thing that will be attached to my ass...over the course of the last 122 days i have come to realize that i do not have always to be eating or overeat to the point of fat breathing...because when the diet stops & i am a skinny b*otch, these tools are what is going to help me stay svelte & not become a fat bridesmaid yet again...so for my hump day, was a "aha day"....

day 122...we ate sushi (my s.i.l. was craving it, so against my will i was forced to eat sushi, & totally did not enjoy it; thanks cena;)...

...until "hmmm" tomorrow...

compliments r' us makes a fat kid smile...

121 days...

**disclaimer 275...often when you can't count the point value of some foods because you are not sure of how many points it would be or just cannot figure it out...don't fret, just count the ones you know and control those points...you can only do so much...

...we have talked about it before, but compliments do make the "dieter in question" feel so good about what they are doing, especially after they have eaten more than half of the island of manhattan...even the smallest of the smalls compliment makes a world of a difference and for that moment we smile a bigger smile & then move on, thinking all of our hard work is actual paying off to decrease the size of our asses...

...& for today it was not terrible...i am not sure of some food items i ate but i maintained the ones i did know...like the rice krispies, bananas & milk....a special k bar, etc....and then i deal with the food i am not too sure about...i do not know the exact amount of points i ate today but what i do know for sure is that i am not under but i am not way over either & as i G.I. Joe says it the best, "knowing is half the battle"...

day 121...i have to stop typing, because this is probably one of the worst entries ever & i can't even tell you where my head is right now...enough, "oy" (my new word maybe?)

...until "another oy day" tomorrow...

we can all breathe...it wasn't that bad...

day 120...

...week 18...weigh day...and i gained (it's totally ok) +2 lbs...which is not horrible considering all the food i ate...

...so after i stood on the scale and realized i didn't jump a whole 5 lbs...i took a deep breath and thanked God (because of my cupcake, sushi, pasta, french fries, corn beef, yada, yada eating, my ass could have gotten way out of hand)...then i debated whether i should walk across the street to get milk, which i opted not to, just didn't feel like it & did not eat anything until like 5:00 (now that is lack of motivation & me being lazy & not wanting to get up so i did not eat), however i do not recommend that because i thought i was going to pass out (so anorexia will not be the way i lose my weight)...but then i decided to eat, and i have to tell you after being off the points, not so easy to get back on...i got used to eating what i wanted and not paying (too much) attention to how much & what i was eating...but i succeeded, & day 120 is over...

...week 18, day 120...+2 lbs....21 points

...i would also like to point out this is probably the longest i have stuck with a diet/blogging & that is thanks to you because i feel as if you wait to hear from me (i know you totally don't wait but i keep thinking that & it keeps me going)...& there is also the reason of me not being a TOTAL FAT ASS...

...& other p.s...my mom reassured me that my +2lbs. is only water weight...isn't she da best:)

well it is about that time...one foot in front of the other and my fat ass on the scale....

days 116 - 119...and the night before the ultimate weigh day...i can't even begin to tell you how nervous i am...

**disclaimer 329...no matter how painful it may be you have to step on the scale no matter how many days you have blown your diet...make sure though you have plenty of alcohol or anti-depressants after you get off the scale...

1st things 1st....HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! "...they are the people that pick us up when we fall, laugh at us when no one else thinks we are funny, stick with us when everyone else has left, and love us no matter what...they are our moms"...to all the moms, especially my mom, thank you:)

...i am back in the state of ohio & i am a little nervous in regards to tomorrow...it is the first weigh day in 2 weeks of eating my way through new york city...i am actually thinking the scale will tip majorly in the direction i do not want it to go...however my mom being my biggest fan of my weight loss endeavors (hell she loves me despite my fat ass & bulging hips:) kept providing me with motivational, positive words of how great i looked & i how i looked like i lost weight...let's hope she is right...she even told me all that walking negated the fact that i ate half the island of manhattan...

...the positive about tomorrow is that i get back to the points (& maybe a brisk walk)....hopefully my body responds in a optimistic way instead of going into convulsions from a lack of food...so along with my reporting how big my ass is grown, i will also give you a look into a fat bridesmaid back on the diet wagon...

days 116 - 119...the beat goes on and so shall Operation N.m.F.b...

p.s i am back to my normal schedule of bloggin' too...don't get too excited...

until "game day" tomorrow...

cinco de mayo...cinco de fat ass...

115 days...

**disclaimer 576....everybody plays a part...yours just happens to be that of the fat ass...now the decision becomes, do i give in to the part and eat the donut or change my role and eat the apple...ahhh hell, screw it, eat the donut:)

more walking and less eating that it was i like to type and it is pretty much true to form...except (of course there is an exception)...today i went down to the east village, very different from the west village...unique in every way about it...there is a placed called, Pommes Frites on 2nd ave. right off St. Marks Place...(not sure if i mentioned but little recap)...it is FRENCH FRIES, need i say more with several choices of dipping sauce...how can you go wrong, these fries are better to eat with other people but i wanted to go get me some being that i am in new york...very delicious, i chose rosemary garlic mayo & sundried tomato mayo as my dipping sauce....i preferred the latter but i was eating french fries, i didn't have much to complain about...and tomorrow or friday i am going to go down to little italy buy some pizza & canolis (pizza for me; canolis for my brother)...have you noticed a trend more about me eating and less about the dieting...probably not the smartest...if you can't lose the weight, might as well enjoy the food....kidding i will be back next week with points to count...

day 115...happy cinco de mayo...happy eating & drinking...

...until "the food journey" returns..

ohh boy...i am reaching the point of just plain old fat....

days 112 -114....and the beat (diet) goes on...

**disclaimer 346...gage by your clothes...you can always tell if you are losing or gaining by your clothes...& when they get tight buy stretchy pants...then they never feel tight & you keep eating; wait is that the way I am supposed do it,hmmmm:)

...i am so going to need detox after i come back....i have had everything under the sun & i am getting nervous come next week when i will actually have to weigh in...i do not think it will be pretty...hopefully as i get in more walking...i can save myself a pound or two...i just can't say no to food (we all know that or i wouldn't be writing a blog about being a Fat Ass Bridesmaid) & i can definitely not say no when i am surrounded by such amazing varieties of food...

...yesterday...we went to a street vendor and had a falafel sandwich (chick peas mushed with some other stuff made in to a patty then fried shoved into a pita with hummus or tzatziki sauce, lettuce, tomato & other vegetables if you deem necessary)...i know you are thinking description sounds "ehh, ok" but it is like a dance disco in your mouth...then later on we ate a cupcake from Crumbs (i mentioned before the croissant but wholly hell the cupcakes are whole other playing field)...and to top it off more sushi finished with lemon gelato (which was not heavy or i think bad but a breath of fresh air)...that is a typical day of eating in nyc...i can't stop myself, nor do i care too...anywho we shall wait to see what happens wednesday, thursday, & friday...& then when the good year blimp (my ass), steps on the scale i will cry & then have a therapy session with kate (the bride who is going in to counseling & she will tell me i have food issues and need to address them head on & when i say i am, because i am eating them, she will say we need to find an alternative way of dealing with them {kate did i do a good job???}...)

enough food talk for me...112-114 days (as i got close to the 100 days and beyond my ass got bigger as the road went downhill)...

...until "typical day of eating" tomorrow....