day 60
as a former member of the restaurant world (& would love to return to & do again)...i would like to take a moment & give a few helpful hint to those that frequent restaurants...now i know what you are thinking...i know how to act when i go in to a restaurant & besides if there is a f* up it is totally their fault (& i am not saying it isn't, there are many who suck at serving & many who mess up)...but please read on & just humor me...then when you finish, you can say damn i guess i never thought of it & THEN the next time you enter an establishment where you will be sitting, ordering food, think before you act...b/c would you want some crazy girl writing a blog about you & your asinine behavior in a restaurant...just sayin'
a blog on HOW NOT TO PISS YOUR SERVER OFF or rather HOW TO ACT appropriately in a restaurant...(& again these are inspired by true stories, no names will be given, but check yourself)
...we all put pants on one leg at a time, i don't even care if you have 'DR' before your name, or you are the next Lebron James...last time i checked we are all human & just because i am serving you, doesn't mean you are better than me...
...your server is a person...when talking/ordering LOOK at them (i think our mothers taught us that one)
...technology is great but unless you are texting your server your order put your phone the f* down & don't even try to order when you are having a conversation with someone else...obvi the food is not that important & it can wait to be ordered until you are finished...
(...& side note...attention children, if you are going out to a restaurant, why go in a big group if you are all going to have your eyes glued to a phone & not each others company...just sayin, eat alone & then text away except when your server is not there...)
...when asking a question, please reply & think before doing...so if i ask what kind of toast you want, don't say toast...or what kind of eggs you want, don't say eggs, or if i ask you what kind of juice you want, don't say juice, or if i ask you what kind of meat, don't say meat...those questions require an answer a little more than repetition...
...i can't read your mind, so if you want something you are going to have tell me...use your words!
...if you wouldn't mind (i know FB is really important especially when your server is taking your order) but please pay attention...so then the server doesn't have to repeat herself 9 times the same choices, time saver for all...order goes in quicker & food comes out quicker...really we are benefiting you!
...you think if you order it, you might be able to remember it...so when i come to your table (yes i know its my job, but if everyone gets the same thing except for the difference in meat, that is like trying to tell twins apart) & announce your meal, A) do not continue to talk, do you not see the plates in my hand, B) don't stare at me like you have never heard of the food coming out of my mouth...
...be courteous of others, if everyone has not gotten their food, why the hell are you askin' for something...wait your turn (i think that lesson was in kindergarten)
...please & thank you (maybe watch sesame street or mr. rogers)
...ladies, women, girls -- we are the worst offenders, stop being a PAIN in the ASS when dining out...
...don't summon your waitress, like a servant, again use your words...& for sure don't slam an empty cup on the table (if they are ignoring you, maybe) but if they are busy & you know you just downed a mountain dew in 2 seconds, give them a minute...
...if you are going to b&^$ about pricing, just go to the grocery store & make it yourself (those that own restaurants (& i know not all) but are trying to survive too)...you are going out to eat...& don't take it out on your server...they don't make the pricing...
...TIP --- if you don't like it move to europe....
....if you know (& you do know who YOU are) that you should not interact in a public place don't even try it...especially in a restaurant...so if you are a pain in the a@*, then at stay home...
...patience is a virtue (there is a lot of truth behind that saying & i am not saying wait forever) but relax...you want fast food, i am sure there is a McDonalds around the corner...
...don't write a food review if you know nothing about food or if you think you do however you just reviewed a taco bell, really a taco bell! (yelp not a great source, try it for yourself unless a major, major bad review; every place deserves a go once if not twice)...
...be respectful of the restaurant and their policies...so if they say no dogs (besides being health code), then no matter the size (unless a service dog) don't try to sneak them in to the restaurant & get mad when the manager tells you, they cannot be in there...or if for certain saturdays during a certain season, they ask you not to move tables, don't do it...you wouldn't want someone to come in your house & move stuff, just sayin'
...after you are done eating...the bill is paid, & you clearly see people are waiting, don't sit, get the hell up...restaurants are not coffee shops...& most of them, if not all need for you to move especially when they are busy...so be courteous get up!
...don't ask to sit at a 4-top when there is 2 let alone 1 of you (& there are other tables available), when that is the only 4-top left...
...remember karma, so if you treat people (not just servers) like SH*#, then guess what one day watch out; besides life is way to short to be that mean!
i literally could go on but that is enough...& remember most servers, yes many do it as a part time job but their are others that love doing it (i miss it, i love the people, i love the stories, clearly, especially the reaction from others when they say OMG, i can't believe that happened) and will keep doing it (no, not just for the tips) but b/c they enjoy it...(& i know that there are those that are in the industry who are not right or even nice about it and for sure should get the hell out); HOWEVER, i am only askin' one thing, use your damn brain before dining...& think to yourself, would you want someone doing that to you...just sayin'
Happy Dining!
<3 JB
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